Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 18, 2023

The only thing she could do was run to the thesaurus.

Unfortunately, Katie was exposed to the weird tome in a sensitive month during her pregnancy. The developing fetus was likely therefore to be affected by her fright to become a ferocious hockey star.

This is an authorised edition of the King’s English.

Thicc Katie could deal with it, once she was oot of the hoos and on her way down the pavement. She did wonder why Leafs and not Leaves. She digressed, and googled, and thus was satisfied.

And it was packing supplemental reference sections.

The answer was so obvious that it couldn’t be overlooked, although I had been doing so for some time. Christmas was approaching with its usual glacial slowness, grinding south out of Canada steadily and relentlessly, and I was stuck in Day Care at the Bath Mat Factory. I could just use my time and materials at hand. A little red, a little green, some wooden beads made to to look like holly berries, and I would have a brand new project, never before attempted. This WAS allowed, so long as I met my quota on “Hand-crafted Holiday Cheer” for the gift shop. I was going to make a Santa’s Sleigh Ornament that would be passed down for generations, preferably through a sibling branch, and not my own. At this point in my life, I had no love for enduring traditions or their trappings, and little likelihood of developing any. My sibling and his offspring would be cursed to carry on the tradition of the Santa’s Sleigh Ornament in sentimental perpetuity.

Knock back a two-four and enjoy it, eh?

This must be the new King Charles edition, eh? It’s all aboot the proper pronunciation and spelling for all you hosers from The Great White North, eh.

You’ll even learn the difference between a canoe and a Canadian … hint: one tips!

“Two countries separated by a common language.”

(with apologies to Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, Winston Churchill or whomever said it first)

Still smaller than the smallest American-English Dictionary.

Glad you’re posting again.

you sure it was a dictionary ?

Well! Katie….get outta there before you get hit with a word salad you’ll never recover from. You may end up speaking other languages if you do! ☺️

Gets an EH for effort

run Katie run!

Webster’s Third International is just as valid for C-eh-N-eh-D-eh as it is for ’Murkins.

The clear implication is that Katie has seen a number of Canadian-English dictionaries. I congratulate her (although also giving her the ‘Caution’ message about the big one headed her way). I don’t think I’ve ever seen or used one. I better get on the (hockey) stick.

It was being carried by a couple of hosers.

Did Katy do that?

No, but Katiedid (sic) …!

Rumour has it that it contains a lot of extra “U’s” .

HA! Chapter one, paragraph one of the Great Canadian novel.

Somebody threw the book at her.

Protect your unborn child!

On doit eviter etre ecrasé.

Someone once said “To have another language is to possess a second soul” and I’m worried what that will do to me in this case.

Kuddles too.

Alas, poor Katie! She is about to be overwhelmed by the nastiest “two peoples, separated by speaking the same language” evidence, all piled up in one thick dictionary/thesaurus.

You know, a really good, comprehensive dictionary is a true treasure. Welcome it, Katie….

Looking for a taste yummy, then changed my taste of plenty, too the belly of a food processor and a rack of pool ballsy in the kitchen leftover pocket.

A bit of my life in the strange details as of lately.

My neck needed emergency surgery, two bolts and nuts three deep.

Four hours in surgery. The surgeon flipped me over and went to work…

Doing great and love life.

Sorry.

I cant speak a lick of Canadian even though Im close to the border!

… and nothing on the Frog Applause website since the 2nd of December…

[ Meanwhile, every time I start to type ‘Applause’ into comments here ( for this or whatever reason, I’m noticing the browser begin to ‘suggest’ words such as appropriate or applicable or applications!! ]