Gasoline Alley by Jim Scancarelli for January 11, 2024

Do you really care, Clovia? After all, your marriage has been over for years.

Slim’s got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Well Slim?!

“Sweet Thing” was also a 1976 song by Rufus and Chaka Khan.

Unless pigs can write notes…Slim’s no cheater.

I don’t think Clovia needs to worry about Slim being a ladies man.

WHOA, dude!

He’s 70 years old, overweight, with an IQ of 65 and the face of an infant. I highly doubt he’s getting any action on the side.

cue the dark ambient music with discordant overtones which, although broadly tonal, is inflected with chromatic and polytonal passages representing the archetypal example of a florid, melodramatic style without being interpreted as an overly heavy-handed metaphor within the context of the thematic material a bit on the frenetic and frantic side with interesting rhythmic devices which seem to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor utilizing a novel imaging technique known as positron emission tomography and the spontaneous nondenominational conceptions

Printed block letters suggest to me the letter was written by a kid. Slim probably bought a truckload of girl scout cookies

It’s from the squirrels in the park.

Well, you know what a stud I am, Clovia. You’ve felt it yourself, of course. Other women need me too. They desire me. When I leave the house in the morning until I come home at night, I am with other women.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

It’s only fair, Clovia. I bring fulfillment and happiness to women everywhere I go. Heck, the gas station went under YEARS ago. I’ve been supporting us on “gifts” from these other women. I have more children than I can count.

I mean, really. It’s not as if there’s some kind of innocent misunderstanding here. Look at me, Clovia! That note can only mean one thing! I am a sexual dynamo!

He’s doomed! His indigestions – er, indiscretions – have found him out.

If I were married to Slim, I’d be more worried about what generous gift he gave the girls.

Probably from Berta