Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for February 25, 2024

You can telephoto but you can’t tell ’em much.

I used to sell cameras and photofinishing. Every year, when the fireworks took place in English Bay, I would have to patiently try to explain to dozens of customers who took flash pictures from their high-rise apartments in the West End why their Kodak Instamatic only showed the railing of their balcony and no fireworks.

I don’t know, those two seem to be pretty spot-on!

I’d opt for better tourist attractions.

“Here Spot. Come Spot. Sit Spot. Down Spot. Stay.” … “Good Spot.”

You can tell by the Safari gear and venturing no farther than the minivan parked fifty feet away. Prepared in case the large bag of Survival Doritos in the backpack is exhausted.

Focus on your market objectives.

Nah, just add some fluffy cows to chase around.

Touroons, next they will want to go pet a bison.

Should it not say “smarter” tourists?

You need better attractions

At the Leaning Tower of Pisa I was amused at all the people being photographed with one hand trying to hold up the famous tower. My wife said we should do that but I said, “ain’t no way!”

Good luck. The plural for tourists is “Idiocy”. “An idiocy of tourists fell off of the railing.”

I wonder if one of them is named Johnny.

“It’s the black spot!” “Ahhhhhhh!”

On the other hand, the dumb ones spend more.

This was in Calcutta, West Virginia. That’s the black hole of Calcutta.

That may be the hole we almost fell in on the sidewalk in Mazatlan decades ago. Looks like it is still there!

The Myopics on vacation.

If you want a better class of tourist, change the arrow on the sign. All you get here are the touroons.

Americans overseas

they’ll get back to the hotel and complain that, all day long, they’ve been seeing spots…

Well, if you’ve seen one mountain, you’ve seen ’em all!