Wallace the Brave by Will Henry for April 07, 2024

No way is she letting both Wallace and Amelia sit in the back.

Having a secret language is one thing. Other people not know what you’re saying in your secret language is also good. People KNOWING that you’re using a secret language to share secrets is what gets you sent to the principal’s office.

I tried to decode their language but cleverly no words are used more than once, hard to decipher

Even little rebel chaos aficionado Amelia is startled. Notice her protuberant eyeballs.

When you create your own ‘language’ it should not take forever to learn as you created it. That said, their language might take a while to master given the method of communication.

Epic fail.

Why do two of the kids look like zombies?

Even Seagull is disgusted.

*Total idiocy..

BOYS!

I could see them using this to cheat on a test.

Ms. MacIntosh, this is what you get for separating Wallace & Spud.

Wallace and Spud were the opening act for the Snug Harbor Kazoo Band this weekend. They went by the name Dueling Armpits.

Technology like this is how we won WWII.

Armpit language, works best with a good de©odorant

Maybe they got it from seagull – who’s smart enough not to use it during class.

As they grow up Spud and Wallace continue to perfect their “language”. They graduate high school. Instead of college they go to Las Vegas where they get beaten up and thrown out of every casino on the strip.

Their next attempt is the circus, where they run a mentalist act. That is until the day that a highly flatulent customer is in the audience and Spud gets his “signals” crossed and proclaims that cheese sandwiches are remnants of alien culture that cure dandruff.

They then travel to Africa, where they teach their language to the Mangani, the Great Apes and establish a link between humans and the apes, saving BOTH species from destruction.

Thus, armpit fart language becomes “lingua franca” around the world, uniting us as never before. The world moves into a Golden Age of peace and prosperity.

Another classic, Will

Hairless armpits work the best

Secrecy as to the message but not to the messaging technique I’m afraid. Might want to talk to the Military about this though. I doubt that even the best AI out there couldn’t break that code……

Brilliant! This could replace cell phones.

Such a brilliant display of detail. Beautiful art work, and armpit fartwork.

Subtle, very subtle.

The onomatopoeia in this one is off the charts. That’s the nicest thing I can say about 2 juvenile boys who think that armpit farts are a clever language.

When I was in 7th grade at a new school our teacher one day at the end of class, told the girls to all go the the cloakroom, and if we’re really quiet we could leave, 5 minutes early. One of the girls, a tomboy bully-sell out bellowed, “Look at all the girls!” We all had to wait at our desks for the boys to clear out first.

Freaking hilarious! Glad I didn’t have a full mouth.

If the Germans had thought of this instead of Enigma, they would have won the war.

Anybody else notice that Rose’s paper has an A+ on it?

Wallace and Spud should try semaphore flags, or perhaps a heliograph. It wouldn’t be much more conspicuous, and when they get sent to the principal’s office, they can say they are celebrating the town’s maritime heritage.

Hello. We’re the government. We like this idea. However, we think we can improve this communication with our new standard: ARmPitActiveNetwork (ARPANET). Each armpit will be assigned an ArmPit (AP) address, consisting of 4 numbers, each number being in the range of 0-to-255. When you want to send a message, you just preface the message with the target AP address, followed by your own AP address and And the number of farts in the message, all of which is followed by the fart message itself. That way, nodes (people) can pass on the message (via farts) until it reaches the designated recipient. Chaos would result if people can make up their own AP addresses, so we’ll have an organization to assign numbers to people. This will be the Arm pit Registry for Arpanet Numbers (ARAN).

What this? You think that 4 numbers is not enough for the 8 billion people in the world (with an average of two arm pits per person)? Not a problem. We’ll call the 4-number version APv4 (don’t ask what happened to versions 1 through 3, you don’t want to know) and we’ll create APv6 which will have 8 groups of 4 hexadecimal numbers. That should cover it enough arm pits for the future. Admittedly, farting hexadecimal numbers can be tricky, but that’s progress for you. And yes, don’t ask about APv5.

A scene so gross that the minds of everyone else in the class refused to accept.

Could be worse. Could be real farts!

the fact that they are able to do such madness scares me

When I was a kid in grade school we learned morse code and used our pencil erasers to tap out messages and answers to test questions.

Hahahah. Reminds me of a Spongebob Squarepants episode I watched last night, New student starfish.