The Buckets by Greg Cravens for March 23, 2024

I used to have a hard to pronounce last name so I always said “Brown”

From Not Always Right: That’s A Loooong Labor

Some young-looking customers are trying to get into an eighteen-rated film. They’ve presented some IDs, but they look a bit suspect, so I am asking them some questions.

Me: “What’s your date of birth?”

Customer #1: “July 1st, 2005.”

Me: “Okay, and you?” Turns to [Customer #2].

Customer #1: “That’s my brother, so he’s coming with me.”

Me: “Okay, but he still needs to be over eighteen. So… date of birth?”

Customer #2: “October 12th… two… thousand… and… five?”

Me: “You’re brothers?”

Customer #1: “Yes.”

Me: “And you were born four months apart?”

Customer #2: “We’re twins.”

Customer #1: Smacks his brother on the back of the head “You total berk!”

They still went to see a film… a nice family-friendly PG film.

NOT my story.

Berk?

Well, it’s true that some parents delight in giving their poor kid a name as strange as possible, a ‘unique’ name.

I’m putting down 25% gratuity.

A place here uses one random name from some theme: authors, musicians, movies, fairy tale characters, … No one yet complained being „Mathilda“, „Odysseus“ or even „The Grinch“.

I have a friend with a hard-to-spell name. When the barista or host asks “how do you spell that?” he says “anyway you want. You have to read it.”

At a restaurant the host asked if I could give him a name. I responded, “Why? Didn’t your mother give you one?” The flummoxed look on his face was priceless.

to steal from Young Frankenstein I tell them Abby Normal

I have a fairly common name so I usually leave “Hat Man” in situations like this.

Not a good idea to give people preparing your meal a hard time.

“Cup of Joe for Joe.”

I tell them “Dobby” …

“Master gave Dobby a coffee! Dobby is a happy house elf!”

It’s a pet peeve of mine that veterinarians calls out the pet’s name not the owner’s. “Please bring Fluffy now,” is what they’ll say. Not, “Mr. Smith, please bring your cat back.” As though my cat was going to come when he hears his name called.

So I named my cat Ghisteslwchlohm. (I didn’t make it up — that’s a character is a book series I enjoy.)

And that’s why some restaurants require an adult to be with minors ordering food..

I work at a country store with a candy counter, and when getting candy for a family with multiple kids, it’s helpful to mark the bags to avoid confusion. I used to sometimes ask for a name, but then I’d have to ask for spelling. Then I tried asking the kid for their initial, but younger kids didn’t know what I meant, and older kids gave me all 3. Now I ask the kid, “What is the first letter of your name?” That works =)

Between how off-the-wall the names they gave were, and the bluntness of the employee in the last panel, this one made me laugh.