Kliban by B. Kliban for April 26, 2024

I think it was Steve Martin who said what if when you die, it’s whatever you always thought it was. Pearly gates? You got it. Allah and co? All yours. Nothing at all? Could be. Or, was it George Carlin?

Queue up Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit In The Sky.”

I can see up her dress!

The “Capture” — carpet dust mites sucked up into Hoover®.

Judging by the lack of ruffled clothing, it would appear they aren’t going very fast. Guess they’re not in a hurry.

Note to self: If this illustration is to be believed, heaven is positioned at a 45 degree angle from earth. Good to know, when calculating propulsion.

Wonder what they wear in heaven. White robes? Who has the concession? do they have to be laundered? One size fits all? etc., etc.

Is this the Rapture.. the eschatological position held by some Christians, particularly those of American evangelicalism, consisting of an end-time event when all dead Christian believers will be resurrected and, joined with Christians who are still alive, together will rise "in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air.

Heaven’s located somewhere above Uranus.

If this is supposed to be funny, I don’t get it.

Why does this remind me of the flying toasters that used to be on old Macintosh screen savers?

Heaven’s only a mirage until you bring it down to earth.

We gotta get out of this place

If it’s the last thing we ever do

We gotta get out of this place

‘Cause girl, there’s a better life for me and you