Wallace the Brave by Will Henry for April 12, 2024

I’m surprised this doesn’t happen to Wallace more often.

Fish got to ride the sploosh.

Seagull’s eyes are as big as Wallace’s.

From Not Always Right : Kentucky Fried Bigfoot

This was hands down the weirdest thing I’ve seen.

I do a lot of fieldwork at remote sites. “Remote” doesn’t really mean “inaccessible”, but it does mean it’s d*** hard to get to sometimes. I’m talking four to six miles into a wilderness, two miles from any established trail. Now, picture my coworker and me setting up a bark beetle trap in the middle of the forest in such a location. She squeaked a bit and pointed, whispering, “I think I see a bear!”

I turned my head and watched a fuzzy brown splotch moving through some thick undergrowth in the distance, kind of walking toward us, but it looked strange. It wasn’t really moving like a bear should.

A few minutes later, the shape popped out of the brush into a clearing, and I now knew why it looked weird. It was an extremely overweight man, I’m guessing in his mid-forties, buck-naked except for a bandana, eating… a KFC chicken sandwich, judging by the wrapper. He was just casually walking through the woods munching away, dangly bits and all flopping around like nothing was out of the ordinary.

I have no idea how he was even able to walk out there. I was wearing Vibram soles because of the random sharp rock pockets from the nearby lava fields and cinder cones.

We called it a day about six hours earlier than we should have and got the h*** out of there as fast as we could. My coworker refused to ever go back to that location, and I had to finish installing the trap by myself a week later.

(My Wife’s cousin used to work for a tree trimming company & told us stories similarly scary)

Spud may not be long for this world, if that’s going to happen all of the time.

zoning out to the thoughts of cheese

Perhaps you don’t need that much cloaking to hide from Spud, at least.

Spud’s heard one too many Bigfoot stories, it seems..

He’s still zoned out even in panel three, while falling :))

For as often as this happens you’d think Spud would steer clear of the pier. And the rhyming was a happy accident.

The 2nd panel is actually a perfect demonstration of how conspiracy theories work.

Spud is a human divining rod. He always seems to find water.

“I don’t know. One minute I was thinking about cheese and the next I was wet and climbing up this ladder.”

And yet, Bigfoot Advocates always ignore the real reason nobody ever sees Bigfoot. Bigfoot doesn’t exist.

Stay out of traffic Spud. Not a place to be lost in thought.

A Bigfoot wearing an invisibility cloak pushed Spud in!

A trial before your piers

Rude awakening

Good thing it’s nearly high tide. :-)

That’s probably how Bigfoot does it.

Anxiety overload leads to body awareness shutdown.