The Barn by Ralph Hagen for May 11, 2024

The Milk Is 4%, But The Love Is 104%

A man comes up to my till with practically every variety of animal milk we carry, in every brand.

Me: “Wow, that’s a lot of milk.”

Customer: “Yes. I found a stray kitten in my garden, and he was all alone. I’ve taken him in, and I need to know what kind of milk he’d prefer.”

Me: “Oh, wow… That’s nice!”

Customer: “Yeah, he’s a fussy little thing, but the vet said he’s fine. He’s just… dramatic.”

Me: “If he knows he’s cute, he knows he can get away with it.”

Customer: “Would you like to meet him?”

Me: “I… uh…”

Before I can formulate a response, the customer turns around, and I see the face of a tiny kitten nestled comfortably in his oversized hoodie’s hood. He mews at me.

Customer: “Meet Tybalt, the bougie little s***.”

The next week, the customer only bought one type of milk. Tybalt hath chosen!

NOT my story.

So that’s how they get him to take his meds.

Rory needs the tiniest of violins to be playing for him.

Rory is spoiled.

Rory’s worse when he runs out of root beer! Much like I am when I run out of beer.

Even angry sheep are sheepish.

Stomp stomp

“BAAAAAAAAAA!” (Translation: “I’m mad as Hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore!”)

Really, Rory?

Spoiled BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!! :)

Just played ‘Do the Hustle" on the oldies station. Now I’m thinking it would have been better if they’d called it ’Do the Sheep Stomp." Maybe that sounds too sixties…