Drabble by Kevin Fagan for May 29, 2024

Secret code

I love it, Ralph rules

Repeat pro re nata

I’d die before I ate a veggie burger.

How to tell that Ralph is in distress.

The fix is in.

A friend of mine once ordered half a weight watchers salad with chips. She said, well if I’m only eating half the salad it must be ok to have the chips. Not convinced that works.

They know their clientele.

[Wink! Wink!]

“Say no more…” ㋛

I have a sudden craving for a Chiliburger. Hey hon I’m going out to get a veggie burger

A foot long chili cheese dog and tots.

He is a widow maker.

Needs to keep up his bulk for wrestling!

I like these guys, they’re cool.

Know your customer base, and your business will thrive.

Darn, they got the order right.

Had a cafeteria manager at my first salaried job, and a Steak House owner/chef that bought into my thin-but-hollow live-to-eat, eat-to-live lifestyle that recognized me on arrival and treated me like a valued friend…same as they treated a few others I’m sure, but kept me as a customer most certainly. Both trialed new culinary creations on me before adding to the menu.

Where is Joe Pesci when you need him?

“Veggie burger” is inaccurate: it’s a vegetable (honestly, more likely bean and grain) patty. By definition, a “burger” requires the presence of chopped or ground meat. But, vegans like to lie and then get even more obnoxious than normal when you point out they’re lying.

I just guess that you will get the veggie burger and l will take the chili burger and fries.You know how much I care about your health and my heart is doing fine…..

They got Ralph’s order right.

Guessing this is the one and only time he can pull this stunt; next time, when they mess up the order in exactly the same way, she’ll know the fix is in.

A veggie burger is a lie. Not a veggie, not a burger.