Never Pick A Fight With An Old Scottish Woman, Part 5
A customer is complaining that her card is being declined in our little corner shop.
Customer: “It’s because I’m out here in the middle of f****** nowhere, isn’t it?! Your signal is weak as p*ss!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There could be many reasons for your card being declined, but I don’t think it’s our signal. It’s been working fine all day, and—”
Customer: “Are you accusing me of having no money?! You cheap little sk-ank!”
As the customer is ranting, an older lady walks up to her and starts waving a banana in her face.
Customer: “What the f*** are you doing?!”
Old Lady: “Well, sorry, c**tcake, I just assumed since you have the manners of a f****** monkey, I’d try to calm you the f*** down. Now, which end do you want the banana in?”
If you want me to kiss that area on your person, I’ll paint lips (with lipstick) on my shoes to deliver said “kiss”. So, careful what you ask for Aunty dear.
seanfear 6 months ago
YES!!!
Yakety Sax 6 months ago
Never Pick A Fight With An Old Scottish Woman, Part 5
A customer is complaining that her card is being declined in our little corner shop.
Customer: “It’s because I’m out here in the middle of f****** nowhere, isn’t it?! Your signal is weak as p*ss!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There could be many reasons for your card being declined, but I don’t think it’s our signal. It’s been working fine all day, and—”
Customer: “Are you accusing me of having no money?! You cheap little sk-ank!”
As the customer is ranting, an older lady walks up to her and starts waving a banana in her face.
Customer: “What the f*** are you doing?!”
Old Lady: “Well, sorry, c**tcake, I just assumed since you have the manners of a f****** monkey, I’d try to calm you the f*** down. Now, which end do you want the banana in?”
NOT my story. (─ ‿ ─)
FreyjaRN Premium Member 6 months ago
Osculate my gluteals. I like to confuse the stupid.
suelou 6 months ago
…buss my butt….. !!!!! more ladylike????
A Common 'tator 6 months ago
A Scouser would say “Kiss my ärse”…
dflak 6 months ago
You’ll have to be more specific; you look like all @$$ to me.
sbenton7684 6 months ago
Well… another frame following the plot line…
jango 6 months ago
Soyl cleansing?Seems more like baggage unloading.
rockyridge1977 6 months ago
Venting ….but no couth!!!!!
paranormal 6 months ago
I’m not going to share your hiney with the people I have to tell to kiss mine!!!
dbrucepm 6 months ago
and on the way out don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya
ladykat 6 months ago
Indeed.
Daltongang Premium Member 6 months ago
Well Aunty, I will let you cleanse my soul, because you can KISS MY @$$!
cuzinron47 6 months ago
You’re that desperate for affection?
kathleenhicks62 6 months ago
No doubt about that!!!
garibaldi.hank 6 months ago
The Pogues Were originally Called Pogue Mahone Meaning In Irish “Kiss My A-se”
Strider Keninginne Premium Member 6 months ago
If you want me to kiss that area on your person, I’ll paint lips (with lipstick) on my shoes to deliver said “kiss”. So, careful what you ask for Aunty dear.
stillfickled Premium Member 6 months ago
Kiss my grits.
Moonkey Premium Member 6 months ago
She can say it, but we can’t type it here.
rob.home 6 months ago
I know that this has been said before, but an xss is a female donkey.