Never Pick A Fight With An Old Scottish Woman, Part 5
A customer is complaining that her card is being declined in our little corner shop.
Customer: “It’s because I’m out here in the middle of f****** nowhere, isn’t it?! Your signal is weak as p*ss!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There could be many reasons for your card being declined, but I don’t think it’s our signal. It’s been working fine all day, and—”
Customer: “Are you accusing me of having no money?! You cheap little sk-ank!”
As the customer is ranting, an older lady walks up to her and starts waving a banana in her face.
Customer: “What the f*** are you doing?!”
Old Lady: “Well, sorry, c**tcake, I just assumed since you have the manners of a f****** monkey, I’d try to calm you the f*** down. Now, which end do you want the banana in?”
If you want me to kiss that area on your person, I’ll paint lips (with lipstick) on my shoes to deliver said “kiss”. So, careful what you ask for Aunty dear.
seanfear 12 days ago
YES!!!
Yakety Sax 12 days ago
Never Pick A Fight With An Old Scottish Woman, Part 5
A customer is complaining that her card is being declined in our little corner shop.
Customer: “It’s because I’m out here in the middle of f****** nowhere, isn’t it?! Your signal is weak as p*ss!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There could be many reasons for your card being declined, but I don’t think it’s our signal. It’s been working fine all day, and—”
Customer: “Are you accusing me of having no money?! You cheap little sk-ank!”
As the customer is ranting, an older lady walks up to her and starts waving a banana in her face.
Customer: “What the f*** are you doing?!”
Old Lady: “Well, sorry, c**tcake, I just assumed since you have the manners of a f****** monkey, I’d try to calm you the f*** down. Now, which end do you want the banana in?”
NOT my story. (─ ‿ ─)
FreyjaRN Premium Member 12 days ago
Osculate my gluteals. I like to confuse the stupid.
suelou 11 days ago
…buss my butt….. !!!!! more ladylike????
A Common 'tator 11 days ago
A Scouser would say “Kiss my ärse”…
dflak 11 days ago
You’ll have to be more specific; you look like all @$$ to me.
sbenton7684 11 days ago
Well… another frame following the plot line…
jango 11 days ago
Soyl cleansing?Seems more like baggage unloading.
rockyridge1977 11 days ago
Venting ….but no couth!!!!!
paranormal 11 days ago
I’m not going to share your hiney with the people I have to tell to kiss mine!!!
dbrucepm 11 days ago
and on the way out don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya
ladykat 11 days ago
Indeed.
Daltongang Premium Member 11 days ago
Well Aunty, I will let you cleanse my soul, because you can KISS MY @$$!
cuzinron47 11 days ago
You’re that desperate for affection?
kathleenhicks62 11 days ago
No doubt about that!!!
garibaldi.hank 11 days ago
The Pogues Were originally Called Pogue Mahone Meaning In Irish “Kiss My A-se”
Strider Keninginne Premium Member 11 days ago
If you want me to kiss that area on your person, I’ll paint lips (with lipstick) on my shoes to deliver said “kiss”. So, careful what you ask for Aunty dear.
stillfickled Premium Member 11 days ago
Kiss my grits.
Moonkey Premium Member 11 days ago
She can say it, but we can’t type it here.
rob.home 11 days ago
I know that this has been said before, but an xss is a female donkey.