Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for May 21, 2024

Marigold: Panicks and whinnies for a minute straight in the loudest way possible.

Wubzzy26: CUTE.

If Marigold enjoys panicked whinnying, doesn’t that make her whinnying also cheerful?

This is what a horse ghost would sound like if it underwent the same process that makes a human ghost into a banshee.

Why isn’t this strip called Phoebe and Marigold? Marigold is definitely the no. 2 character and is her own person (sic). I just think it would make more sense.

I’ve long wondered what would be a way that you could cause Marigold extreme emotional and psychological distress and only just now do I see the way someone could do that.

You could start asking just how perfect she is and then you gradually start to gaslight her and make her think she is becoming less beautiful and perfect by the hour, minute and then second.

You could drive her out of her skin and make her completely demented with fear and doubt.

but you might also forever destroy a unicorn that way too and they might even lose their magic over it.

In college, I was the winner of an improvisational speech contest. We had a half hour to research and write a persuasive speech. Everybody else went up to the library to do research. I sat down and wrote my speech. I figured, “What could I research, read, and use in a speech in half an hour?”

She will spend a minute gyring in ever-decreasing circles until she steps on her own tail. That’s how she can time her panics.

Just do 5 minutes of horse jokes.

“But unicorns aren’t—”

DO 5 MINUTES OF HORSE JOKES.

This is quite a big ask, especially in the one minute assigned to panic. How about the human world? Marigold knows more about it than other unicorns and I’m sure she could raise some laughs on the subject.

Isn’t she going to make one of those bubbles where time speeds up on the inside?

“What query do you suggest for Chatgpt?”

Folks, stop responding to richgrunkleduck. He’s an attention-seeking troll and he’d been 0-for-2 on getting responses until today. I won’t give him the gratification he seeks by replying on his message; neither should you.

I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Marigold.