Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 01, 2024

Pottersville was more interesting than Bedford Falls.

That’s why we have chili dogs here on Earth.

If you’d be bored in Heaven, you probably won’t get in. Not that Rat has to worry about that.

Not a well thought out plan, then.

I prefer heaven for the place and hell for the company, someone said.

A bar in Miami where I used to hang out in the ’80s had free chili dogs.

“They say there’s a Heaven for those who wait, Some say it’s better but I say it ain’t. Rather laugh with the sinners then cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun.” Billy Joel

This man came up to me just the other day

He asked me if I’d been born again

I told him I didn’t think I had

That I had been rejected

But I think

Hell’s got all the good bands, anyway

-Ode to C.C., Part 2 by The Flaming Lips

Chili dogs are a little cheaper around here!

I’m reminded of the Twilight Zone episode where this crook ended up in the afterlife and found it really boring because he got everything he wanted with no challenges. Then he it turned out he was in hell, not heaven.

An eternity of kissing God’s butt; no thanks.

Nobody knows “God’s plan” so hellbenders in any venue could be a part of heaven to make you feel happy and content!!

At least the white part of the priest’s collar is in front, unlike Andy Capp’s priest who has it on the side.

Heaven won’t be boring for those who love God and neighbors.

Why does GoComics have a big grey rectangle now?

I wish Pastis would stop bringing up Christian concepts like Heaven, because he really doesn’t understand them. I pray for his eventual salvation. Heaven will have something for everyone. God made us as individuals, so it’s not just going to be one size fits all & you better enjoy sitting on a cloud playing a harp all the time. There will be something for everyone. Besides, if Heaven is boring, then it wouldn’t really be perfect after all. And you wouldn’t be able to go to a dive bar in Hell, either, or have a beer party with all your friends. I doubt they grow hops in Hell to make the beer, for one thing.

I already knew that “In Heaven there is No Beer”, but now you tell me there’s no chili dogs as well? What’s the point of going?

Sinning by eating chili dogs carries its own punishment.

Best answer would have been, “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see. Like everybody else.l

And here I’m thinking….‘’a blues filled bender with $2 hot dogs’’ sounds like heaven to me.

There ain’t notheeng after death Rat. You just ceases to exeest when you is dies. Lives yours life to the fullest for you is lives only once. There ain’t no gods ain’t no heavens and ain’t no hells. All those is just tall tales.

Rat clearly wants to live in the other place.

Yes, that is definitely part of God’s plan!

“Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.” David Byrne

8.1 billion channels and nothing on?

That is my picture of hell: eternity without anything to do and not even the option for sinning. You can’t even die anymore.

I totally agree with the boring part. I couldn’t stand church as a kid, now we’re supposed to live in one forever if we’re good???

I am going to miss the Big Blues Bender again this year. :-(

‘cause it’s fun! (until the tab arrives)

If Blues fueled benders in bars with cheap chili dogs aren’t part of God’s plan, he doesn’t get to plan the party.

One mans heaven can be another mans hell.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind and your strength. Doing these, and being filled with His love, and you will NEVER be bored.

But in hell you don’t get chili dogs either, just whiffs of the smell of them on occasion (all the time smell of chili dogs would turn you off from them).

“Well, Hell was worse, of course, by definition. But Crowley remembered what heaven was like, and it had quite a few things in common with Hell. You couldn’t get a decent drink in either of them, for a start. And the boredom you got in Heaven was almost as bad as the excitement you got in Hell.”

- Pratchett / Gaiman, Good Omens

Peyton Place vs Mayberry

OMG, I’ve been to that bar. Trust me, you need a peaceful (boring) place afterwards to get the ringing out of your ears and let your stomach settle. Them two-dollar chili dogs will wipe you out!

I can see Rat’s side. When I asked a nun at school about heaven, what would it be like, what would we do? She said we’d be so happy to be with God that we would sing and pray all day long. I’m sure my smile froze on my young face. What about flying and swimming to the bottom of the ocean and dressing like a princess?

Nailed it! Besides, has anyone ever considered just how boring eternal life must be?

I hope not. That doesn’t sound appealing to me, not gonna lie.

I often agree with Rat. Today is no exception. My standard response when threatened with hell is “Are you going to heaven? Then I’ll take hell, thanks. Heaven sounds terrible.”

I’m sure Rat will love Hell. He’ll be torturing everyone else down there

$2 chili dogs? I’m in.

Suicide Peppers on Angel Lane!!

If there is a “heaven,” I would guess that it would be whatever you wanted it to be.

I have faith there will be chili dogs in Heaven. Just as there are no tears in Heaven.

God hates chili dogs?

Anything becomes boring after a time, much less eternity.

In my young man years, I preferred Notorious Hurley Wisconsin.

There once were two brothers named Sam Frank and Frank Sam.

When they died, Frank Sam went to Heaven and Sam Frank went to Hell.

One day, Frank Sam was missing his brother. He asked God, “Can I go visit him just for a night?”

God said, “Yes you may. But only for one night. And you must bring your harp with you, and show the harp to St Peter when you get back to prove you belong here.”

So Frank Sam went to Hell for one night and visited his brother. He discovered that Sam Frank ran a nightclub in Hell. They had a great time visiting, eating, drinking, dancing, and enjoying the music.

In the morning, Frank Sam returned to Heaven and checked in with St Peter at the gate.

St Peter asked him, “where’s your harp? I need to see it to prove that you can come back in.”

And Frank Sam said “Oh, no!”

“I left my harp in Sam Frank’s disco!”

LOL

I recall, a l—oo—on—g time ago, I was thinking like rat.

I don’t know, if there is no chili dog farting in heaven, I don’t think I want to be a part of it.

Stephan, you are a Genius

Talking to a priest? In Panel 3 you could’ve stopped after the first 3 words.

And Revelation 21:4 says that the time will come when people don’t get any pain or die any more. And verse 5 says that it is really true

Sinner over here … LOLOL

haha i laughed out loud

I first read the Rev’s answer as “don’t you think that’s God’s plan?”

The God I know is a lot more concerned about our hearts , and not so much about what we DON’T do. Too much obsession about sin keeps us from doing ANYthing – and I don’t think that’s God’s plan.

Jesus came to set us FREE.

According to the book Lamb, By Christopher Moore, angels occasionally have to perform “Dirt duty” periodically and get to imbibe of the “earthly” pleasures without the penalties.

Yes, because they’re messed up and think what’s bad for them is good.

Well, if you can’t do that, it is not really heaven now is it?

Try Cincinnati, Ohio. You can’t walk 2 blocks without tripping over A CHILI DOG

If that’s Rat’s interpretation of Heaven, so it shall be done

I don’t think that’s anything Rat needs to worry about