That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 22, 2024

/// John (the wool merchant) Collins loved lamb

fried in batter and served with mint jam.

Lambs grow fast to adults,

and the sheepish results

are his cook will be battering ram.

The shepherd and his special friend.

Ichabod Crane and his emotional support goat.

That guy really got my goat.

Goat, making eyes at the painter

Although she bleated a lot/

It was worth it: his new bride was hot !/

When “the act” was complete/

in the fine Bridal Suite /

She ate seven tin cans – on the spot !

“I know we look dumb in this picture, but the artist said ‘Two goats would be weird’”

He is the g.o.a.t. with a goat.

He’s a rescue. I saved him from some lady in South Dakota.

Henry never went anywhere without the protection of his attack goat

“Look at that hoity-toity couple over in American Gothic. They’ll never understand our love, Mabel.”

Sir, you are clearly not an Aries. You’re using that as an excuse for hanging out with a cool ram.

I believe it was SHakespeare who wrote/

That you’ve got to admire the goat:/

It allows you to see/

What you like on TV/

For it can’t operate the remote..///

Consider this odd anecdote:/

A man was divorcing a goat/

Beyond any doubt/

She could have “cleaned him out”/

But the goat didn’t “go for the throat” !

I see something like this and think, someone thought that this would be a good portrait

Add a young sheep and you’d have: Ram, a Lamb, a ding-dong.

2 old goats.

What’s the problem? We’re consenting adults…

“Why is everyone avoiding us?”

“Why, yes… I’m as horny as he is.”

Hmmm…, I would’ve guessed Sunnvale’s own, Jim Lahey…

And they say humans and their dogs can resemble each other…well….

Is he really an Aries or is he a Capricorn? Inquiring mind wants to know.

There is a Chicago Cubs joke in here somewhere, I just can’t think of a good one.

When a Capricorn mate with an Aries/

The result (not surprisingly) varies:/

The Capricorn’s horns/

May fall among thorns/

But the Aries’ teeth suffer from caries.

The father of Ernest T. Bass.

Yes, I am an aries and a lover of farm animals… no, wait… that didn’t come out right…

Honey, I’m sorry, but I’m leaving you for Maxine.

“Yeah, I figured it was about time me and the Missus got our portrait done.”

He was tricked. The painter said he would pose with a horny girl.

“I really got your goat this time.”

John Collins with a goat (wink, wink.) Now we know the real story of why his descendant, Barnabas, became a vampire.

John Collins of Devizes: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:John Russell (painter)" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, Brave, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Devizes, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting, and a link to the museum’s Description. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3326 (May 22, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the info about this artist I used to point to here. Only work by him used here so far.

That’s an excellent portrait

Two old goats- both trembling with dread/

At the thought that they’d both soon be dead/

Were forced to resort/

To a fate worse than court:/

In short, the two hastily wed..

At his girlfriend’s suggestion, the guy from “American Gothic” switched to contacts.

being a virgin for 45 years, jacob decided this was the day.

John Collins, the Miser of Devizes

Was aware of his neighbors surmises

concerning his oddities

with livestock commodities

but goat-lust was the worst of surprises!

Interested?

Call 1-800-BUY-GOAT