The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for June 03, 2024

A perk.

I don’t know who to feel sorry for: Gladys or the raccoons.

Gladys bad cooking is something in common with Loretta Lockhorns and Flo Capp. In the comics world I remember that only Hagar is happy with what Helga cooks.

Oh, snap!

Poor raccoons

I’m surprised no one has reported this to the ASPCE or PETA yet.

The Bio Hazard sign on the can was their first clue.☣️

“In fact, the flies repaired the hole in the kitchen screen door…”

the upside to Gladys’ cooking…

There was a Jeopardy contestant last week who said during the interview time that his parents inspired him to learn to cook. He said that their cooking was so bad, that if he wanted anything good to eat that he was going to have to learn how to do it.

wORsT cOoK EVER!

And yet, in his quest for real food, Brutus appears to be doing just fine.

Now , now Brutus . That’s not nice .

Brutus on the porky side for eating slop slung diner food or takeout?

Hagar knows what side his bread is buttered on. He has no wish to sleep on the sofa every night.

Given the girth of Brutus, just how often does he eat at the diner? He’s not getting that shape from what little he can force down from the table of Gladass.

The last time we had garbage cans outside, it would be the roaming dogs that would overturn and ravage the garbage. My neighbor, a retired railroad repairman, fixed that problem with iron supports for the garbage cans. They were easier for the garbage truck to empty and harder for the dogs to get into.

Careful Gladys, you could be investigated for cruelty to animals if one of them gets sick from eating your culinary efforts. I think our hero, after all these years, has developed a constitution capable of withstanding that onslaught though.

Maybe Brutus should start cooking his own meals. Can you say Hamburger Helper ?

Racoons are actually very intelligent animals with these ones having apparently very good epicurian tastes when it comes to garbage. Brutus doesn’t have a choice poor guy……

Note the sly smile on Brutus’ face…….

They know Mother Gargle uses racoon liver is some of potions.

How bad is Gladys’ cooking if raccoons won’t touch it?

I finally got a bungee cord to keep my trash can closed.

Why cook if you’re lousy at it? It’s way too much work.

Loan him your mother-in-law to stand guard for a night. They would be so frightened they’d never come back…..probably have nightmares for a year.

Even the raccoons have standards! I assume Gladys is nowhere in earshot!

The one piece of garbage they don’t want.

Maybe that’s why they don’t raid my trash any more.

Actually they used to but a friend of mine suggested I put a big rock on it. It didn’t take them long to figure out how to slide it off, but there was blood stains on the rock. Never got raided again.

We have a good garbage disposal. Bones are used for soup stocks. And any remains like fish bones are bagged before thrown out. Any bio matter like apple cores, citrus skins and such are put in compost to feed the green house veggies.

maybe you should share some of your garbage to your neighbors ben so they’d be less likely to dig into it next time. ;)