It is truly debilitating not to know where the feelings of depression are coming from. It took me 35 years to discover where some of mine came from. I’m working on them.
I’m at the point in life when I can just say “dang these middle age hormones!” Am I finding the true root of otherwise inexplicable moods? Maybe; maybe not, but at least I’m not beating myself up or compounding the misery.
One time I had a complete meltdown without any triggers and acted out. The next day I found out my daughter who lived four provinces over for me had had a traumatic event and acted out in the same way. At the time it happened I was overwhelmed and he could not understand why.
My entire life was spent in fight or flight mode. Traumatised people tend to be empathic, can feel other people’s emotional pain.
I agree, pigeon. Sometimes it’s easily identifiable, and other times mysterious. In this topsy-turvy world, there is certainly plenty that can fill you with existential dread, but what gets me at times is when I am living my best life, ie doing productive things and making good choices, but it still sneaks up on me and seems to be so mysterious. Honestly, I have struggled for so long that sometimes I think it is nothing more than a habit and what is familiar, and that I default to that state because it is (ironically) comfortable, and it is easier to remain comfortable in discomfort because change is hard, unfamiliar and at time daunting. Sigh.
Sometimes I wake up into an anxiety storm and an intense sense of impending doom. I never know if it was triggered by a forgotten nightmare or if all the anxieties I push down into my sub conscious come out to play while I’m sleeping.
ikini Premium Member 25 days ago
It is truly debilitating not to know where the feelings of depression are coming from. It took me 35 years to discover where some of mine came from. I’m working on them.
TwoCrows 24 days ago
Me too, spent my entire life depressed and anxious, now that I am older I can deal with it easier knowing the root causes.
christineracine77 24 days ago
I’m at the point in life when I can just say “dang these middle age hormones!” Am I finding the true root of otherwise inexplicable moods? Maybe; maybe not, but at least I’m not beating myself up or compounding the misery.
Terr Bear Premium Member 24 days ago
Same, little pidgie, same.
tammyspeakslife Premium Member 24 days ago
One time I had a complete meltdown without any triggers and acted out. The next day I found out my daughter who lived four provinces over for me had had a traumatic event and acted out in the same way. At the time it happened I was overwhelmed and he could not understand why.
My entire life was spent in fight or flight mode. Traumatised people tend to be empathic, can feel other people’s emotional pain.
Buoy 24 days ago
I agree, pigeon. Sometimes it’s easily identifiable, and other times mysterious. In this topsy-turvy world, there is certainly plenty that can fill you with existential dread, but what gets me at times is when I am living my best life, ie doing productive things and making good choices, but it still sneaks up on me and seems to be so mysterious. Honestly, I have struggled for so long that sometimes I think it is nothing more than a habit and what is familiar, and that I default to that state because it is (ironically) comfortable, and it is easier to remain comfortable in discomfort because change is hard, unfamiliar and at time daunting. Sigh.
emiesty Premium Member 24 days ago
Two hours with a certain family member leaves me overwhelmed. She’s a good person and means well, but we keep triggering each other.
Sue Ellen 23 days ago
Sometimes I wake up into an anxiety storm and an intense sense of impending doom. I never know if it was triggered by a forgotten nightmare or if all the anxieties I push down into my sub conscious come out to play while I’m sleeping.