That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 12, 2024

/// Henry was a great catch in his youth,

before age and weight turned him uncouth.

He was handsome and lean,

and to be Henry’s Queen,

many women would die, that’s the truth.

The painter couldn’t find a wide enough canvas.

The curious women from yesterday’s cartoon are very disappointed with what they see today.

With the way the ladies are losing their heads over you, Henry, you’re worried about THAT?!

When Henry said he wanted ‘head’ … ladies, beware!

So this explains the Great Brown Paint Shortage of 1542.

I would like to talk to the manager about the low ceiling in my room

Best way to loose weight? Cut off a wife’s head.

Verily, methinks there be few greater satisfactions than the morning’s first emptying of the royal badder !”

I’m Henry the eighth, I am

Henry the eighth, I am, I am

Does this jeweled collar make me look fat?

Beheaded at age sixteen/

In a manner overtly obscene/

Poor Annie Boleyn/

Still scored one lasting win:/

Twas she begat England’s best Queen.

Henry sometimes found wives “inconvenient “/

Infertility being “unQueenient”/

But decapitation/

Could discomfit the nation

So sometimes the King could be lenient …///

An intransigent Pope was woe’s source/

When succession demanded divorce/

From that sturdy old paragon/

Catherine of Aragon/

“Hank” may even have felt some remorse..

Oh dear, am I early for “Throwback Thursday”?

" I’m ‘enery the Eighth I am

’enery the Eighth I am, I am

____________Herman’s Hermits

“Like my hat? Made it myself!”

I think we may safely assume/

(If rightly I’m reading the room)/

In the eyes of a king/

That a woman’s a thing/

Which isn’t much more than a womb.

Ozempic? ‘tis manufactured by a concern based in Scandinavia. Costs them $5.00 USD to make a month’s worth, for which they charge $600 – $900 to USAians.

Why mother said“Close your eyes and think of England!”

King Henry VIII: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Males with emerald jewellery in art" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string After, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. Perhaps the museum has changed its attribution because the first References attributes it to another artist roughly 2 decades earlier. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3337 (June 12, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the blog entry with my comment pointing to info about the named artist I used to point to here. So far, 7 works associated with him have been used here, the June 10, 2024, strip being the prior.

his wives were only after his money and fame, he showed them.

Despite his enormous net worth/

He is hardly the picture of mirth:/

For he cannot beget/

A male heir – so I’d bet/

That the problem begins with his girth…///

He’s remarkably hearty and hale/

But a woman is hard to impale/

When your royal penetrator/

Arrives five minutes later/

Than your belly, you’re certain to fail…

He ran through a number of Queens/

Beginning with one in her teens../

He was forced to dispose/

Of at least five of those-/

In two cases by violent means..

Yet the monarch whom Holbein portrayed/

Exceptional foresight displayed/

Put the Pope in his place/

But it shows on his face/

That he had a tough time getting laid..

The possibilities are infinite…

$1000-$1300 per month, per an Advisory Board article I read this morning. It’s making insurance companies consider covering bariatric surgery as cheaper. Think I’ll stick to eating less and exercising more.

Henry the Eighth/Sure had trouble/Short term wives/And long term stubble.Burma Shave