Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 24, 2024

That’s handy

Pig put his finger on the problem.

I’d hate to see it give a high-five.

Or even a low one.

They make chairs that help old people get up. A chair like that could be programmed to do this.

No need next week, it’ll already be busted

Try being a supervillain; according to Doug walker a.k.a. The Nostalgia Critic in his suicide squad review(the first(1st) one), they are, by definition, the most motivated people in the world!!!!!!!!! Dan aka…

I have encouraged the GF to get me started in the morning with a water pistol.

Well there’s one thing that never happened to Garfield on a Monday…

I guess someone (or something) needed to give Pig a hand.

Something grabbed Pig. The perpetrator was caught red-handed.

Another version of a “Swat” team!

Keeping the window closed in that case was a real “pane”!

Pig is up at the crack (of the window) of dawn.

I always get started by reading the funnies.

There’s a very good short silent film with Snub Pollard, “It’s a Gift” (1923 – not the later W.C. Fields film with the same title) in which he’s an inventor. A device awakens him by tickling his feet with a feather; then he proceeds to cook breakfast, with fresh eggs, without getting out of bed.

His magnetically propelled car is hilarious. The film can be seen on YouTube.

…was that Ronco product?…“as seen on TV”…

Nothing to do with this comic, but beware about your bank’s CD’s when they mature. I had a 7-month CD making 4.7% and when it matured they wanted to roll it over into a 6-month making 1%. They don’t tell you that, you have to research it yourself. I’m guessing they can flip an 18 months into 15 months or 15 months into 12 months, 12 months into 6 long as it’s not for LONGER time….whatever lets them pay much smaller interests if you don’t catch it.

He landed on Garfield

I thought he was on his way to the top of the Empire State Building.

Nick Parks had it best with Wallace and Gromit’s “The Wrong Trousers”

Who likes to be suddenly awakened though? I use a sunrise alarm clock that gradually brightens over 20-30 minutes.

Pig may have found a treatment for his dysania.

The toss through the window would do more damage and knock Pig out rather than wake him up. Heck of a bad way to start the week.

My bladder signals me to get up.

Is that the latest incarnation of Ahnold? First the Terminator, then the Governator, now the Motivator?

My collection of housepets, as are my horses, are pretty good at such things.

Sounds like a Garfield-esque Monday.

I think I’ll wait for the “Jetsons” system.  However I don’t have much hope that I’ll see it in my lifetime.  I’m still waiting on their flying cars that I thought would be here by the year 2000.  Twenty-five years and still counting!

In the “Matt Helm” movies, a 60’s spy parody starting Dean Martin, the central character has several alarms going off in increasing noise and intensity, but then finally, the bed starts slowly moving along rails, and majestically raises and dumps Martin into a swimming pool.

It looks like something Wallace would create. It is not Gromit approved.

The fickle hand of guilt … applies too to this retiree of 24 years each morning.

Looks like a “Wallace” invention

Looks like the Motivator is a KSSH maker (remember that old joke?)

Great invention. Hands down.

I need one of those

When I was in high school, my mom trained my doggo (a German Shepard,) to nibble me awake. He would use just his front teeth and nibble me. It pinched like the devil, but I would give anything to have my bestie Alex, (the doggo,) nibble me awake for school again. He really was the best and most loyal dog a girl could ask for.

I so need one of those.