So far, theft from my porch has not been an issue. Most deliveries go to the garage anyway. In the event of an unwanted “guest”, those that need to know that my dogs are loose in the house already know. The rest, 50/50. Read the beware of large dogs signs and take your best shot, if you must : )
“My hand, it is a hook I cannot even clap. I often stab myself when I go to wipe my crap.It sucks to be a pirate”.——“It Sucks to be a Pirate” by the Dandy Pirates.
carlsonbob 5 days ago
If a guy like that shows up on our porch, he’ll learn the my .22 will negate that thing he’s carrying. He may learn it in the after-life though.
leopardglily 5 days ago
Hey, free bodyguard. Maybe use the backdoor for a bit.
Bilan 5 days ago
What happened to Guard Duck !?!?
BasilBruce 5 days ago
Is he from Pittsburgh?
MichaelAxelFleming 5 days ago
Plank you very much.
jonnytest 5 days ago
Never bring a blade to a gunfight.
A_Ron Mozilla 5 days ago
I’d ask his going rate for stabbing people who take other’s packages from porches… but that’s just me.
cracker65 5 days ago
Maybe he can stab the thiefs.
MayCauseBurns 5 days ago
I don’t get mad; I get stabby.
Doug K 5 days ago
… and he says, “Aye.” and “Arrr.” a lot.
iggyman 5 days ago
Is Larry the croc after him? (tick,tick)!
markkahler52 5 days ago
The porch pirate stole the gun I’d ordered….
donlackie 4 days ago
Stabbing on the porch? It’s OJ!!!
Ellis97 4 days ago
Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of ho hum.
The Orange Mailman 4 days ago
I count 12 Rs in the dialogue.
Gent 4 days ago
He just stab peoples? In that case he a terrorist.
markyakes Premium Member 4 days ago
When I was young, we couldn’t afford a dog, my parents made me walk the plank…
chris_o42 4 days ago
Where’s Guard Duck? He’d make the pirate walk the plank—any plank available!
SquidGamerGal 4 days ago
Does anyone know a curvy half-genie hero?
RobinHood 4 days ago
How’d ya get the eyepatch? First day with the hook.
walstib Premium Member 4 days ago
Looks like a hooker to me.
Snolep 4 days ago
Kids on Halloween beware. Or anyone you don’t recognize. Shoot first, ask questions later. It’s the American way.
mindjob 4 days ago
That’s a relief. I thought he slit people’s gullets
wongo 4 days ago
Arrrr!
Kurtass Premium Member 4 days ago
Argh.
elbow macaroni 4 days ago
Stabbing people. A real laugh riot.
HOTLOTUS1 4 days ago
a gun won’t do any good when you’re watching them on the ring cam
DaBump Premium Member 4 days ago
And he says “Arrrrr,” a lot — it’s so annoying.
Queen of America 4 days ago
Pirate McStabby, at your service .
Linguist 4 days ago
’Tis a pirate after me own heart!
Croc Holliday 4 days ago
I am the very model of a modern major general…………..
marilynnbyerly 4 days ago
Considering some of the weird crap and critters posted online from Ring cameras, that’s not the weirdest or most dangerous thing I’ve seen.
pheets 4 days ago
So far, theft from my porch has not been an issue. Most deliveries go to the garage anyway. In the event of an unwanted “guest”, those that need to know that my dogs are loose in the house already know. The rest, 50/50. Read the beware of large dogs signs and take your best shot, if you must : )
oish 4 days ago
Looks like Russfert T Diggins from the “Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour” show
Goat from PBS 4 days ago
No, a literal porch pirate. I love literal jokes.
Cary Rodda Premium Member 4 days ago
I refuse to use the term Porch Pirate. Too cutesy. I just call them thieves.
stringer831 4 days ago
“My hand, it is a hook I cannot even clap. I often stab myself when I go to wipe my crap.It sucks to be a pirate”.——“It Sucks to be a Pirate” by the Dandy Pirates.
mail2jbl 4 days ago
Where’s Guard Duck? Wasn’t he taking care of package thieves just last week?
pchemcat 4 days ago
I want that porch pirate!
liberalnlovinit 4 days ago
Arrrrrrrrr…
JoeMartinFan Premium Member 4 days ago
A porch pirate to keep porch pirates away…hmmm…
Buoy 4 days ago
Fighting pirates with pirates, I like it!
greenlynn Premium Member 4 days ago
No ARRRGUMENT from me. He can stay there.
unfair.de 4 days ago
No match for Guard Duck. Why is he even still there?
eddi-TBH 4 days ago
Hoist the colors and set sail for adventure, The Crimson Permanent Assurance Company hauls anchor right after tea!
Chalres 3 days ago
It’s the Knifeketeer!
razzledazzle295 3 days ago
Well, I’ll be…