So far, theft from my porch has not been an issue. Most deliveries go to the garage anyway. In the event of an unwanted “guest”, those that need to know that my dogs are loose in the house already know. The rest, 50/50. Read the beware of large dogs signs and take your best shot, if you must : )
“My hand, it is a hook I cannot even clap. I often stab myself when I go to wipe my crap.It sucks to be a pirate”.——“It Sucks to be a Pirate” by the Dandy Pirates.
carlsonbob 6 months ago
If a guy like that shows up on our porch, he’ll learn the my .22 will negate that thing he’s carrying. He may learn it in the after-life though.
leopardglily 6 months ago
Hey, free bodyguard. Maybe use the backdoor for a bit.
Bilan 6 months ago
What happened to Guard Duck !?!?
BasilBruce 6 months ago
Is he from Pittsburgh?
MichaelAxelFleming 6 months ago
Plank you very much.
jonnytest 6 months ago
Never bring a blade to a gunfight.
A_Ron Mozilla 6 months ago
I’d ask his going rate for stabbing people who take other’s packages from porches… but that’s just me.
cracker65 6 months ago
Maybe he can stab the thiefs.
MayCauseBurns 6 months ago
I don’t get mad; I get stabby.
Doug K 6 months ago
… and he says, “Aye.” and “Arrr.” a lot.
iggyman 6 months ago
Is Larry the croc after him? (tick,tick)!
markkahler52 6 months ago
The porch pirate stole the gun I’d ordered….
donlackie 6 months ago
Stabbing on the porch? It’s OJ!!!
Ellis97 6 months ago
Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of ho hum.
The Orange Mailman 6 months ago
I count 12 Rs in the dialogue.
Gent 6 months ago
He just stab peoples? In that case he a terrorist.
markyakes Premium Member 6 months ago
When I was young, we couldn’t afford a dog, my parents made me walk the plank…
chris_o42 6 months ago
Where’s Guard Duck? He’d make the pirate walk the plank—any plank available!
SquidGamerGal 6 months ago
Does anyone know a curvy half-genie hero?
RobinHood 6 months ago
How’d ya get the eyepatch? First day with the hook.
walstib Premium Member 6 months ago
Looks like a hooker to me.
Snolep 6 months ago
Kids on Halloween beware. Or anyone you don’t recognize. Shoot first, ask questions later. It’s the American way.
mindjob 6 months ago
That’s a relief. I thought he slit people’s gullets
wongo 6 months ago
Arrrr!
Kurtass 6 months ago
Argh.
elbow macaroni 6 months ago
Stabbing people. A real laugh riot.
HOTLOTUS1 6 months ago
a gun won’t do any good when you’re watching them on the ring cam
DaBump Premium Member 6 months ago
And he says “Arrrrr,” a lot — it’s so annoying.
Queen of America 6 months ago
Pirate McStabby, at your service .
Linguist 6 months ago
’Tis a pirate after me own heart!
Croc Holliday 6 months ago
I am the very model of a modern major general…………..
marilynnbyerly 6 months ago
Considering some of the weird crap and critters posted online from Ring cameras, that’s not the weirdest or most dangerous thing I’ve seen.
pheets 6 months ago
So far, theft from my porch has not been an issue. Most deliveries go to the garage anyway. In the event of an unwanted “guest”, those that need to know that my dogs are loose in the house already know. The rest, 50/50. Read the beware of large dogs signs and take your best shot, if you must : )
oish 6 months ago
Looks like Russfert T Diggins from the “Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour” show
Goat from PBS 6 months ago
No, a literal porch pirate. I love literal jokes.
Cary Rodda Premium Member 6 months ago
I refuse to use the term Porch Pirate. Too cutesy. I just call them thieves.
stringer831 6 months ago
“My hand, it is a hook I cannot even clap. I often stab myself when I go to wipe my crap.It sucks to be a pirate”.——“It Sucks to be a Pirate” by the Dandy Pirates.
mail2jbl 6 months ago
Where’s Guard Duck? Wasn’t he taking care of package thieves just last week?
pchemcat 6 months ago
I want that porch pirate!
Doctor Go 6 months ago
Arrrrrrrrr…
JoeMartinFan Premium Member 6 months ago
A porch pirate to keep porch pirates away…hmmm…
Buoy 6 months ago
Fighting pirates with pirates, I like it!
greenlynn Premium Member 6 months ago
No ARRRGUMENT from me. He can stay there.
unfair.de 6 months ago
No match for Guard Duck. Why is he even still there?
eddi-TBH 6 months ago
Hoist the colors and set sail for adventure, The Crimson Permanent Assurance Company hauls anchor right after tea!
Chalres 6 months ago
It’s the Knifeketeer!
Strawberry King 6 months ago
Well, I’ll be…
alantain 5 months ago
Where was guard duck when this guy showed up?