Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for August 25, 2024

Forget Sapient, Some Of These People Are Barely Sentient

I overheard this conversation between two workers at a video games dealer while I was browsing the shelves.

Worker #1: “The fact that they’re treated as animals makes no sense when that one’s entire concept is that it’s smarter than a supercomputer.”

Worker #2: “Intelligence isn’t the same as sapience. Real-world supercomputers aren’t sapient creatures.”

Worker #1: “But that doesn’t make any sense! How can something have a better-than-human IQ if it doesn’t think in a human way?”

Worker #2: “You work in retail. You see evidence every day that something can be sapient and not intelligent. Why is it so hard for you to believe that something can be intelligent and not sapient?”

I left the store at this point and have regretted it ever since.

That’s Not How You Crack Open A Bottle

I spot a customer put several bottles of wine in the child seat part of the shopping cart.

Me: “Please don’t do that! They could—”

Two of them slip through the leg holes and shatter at their feet.

Me: “—fall through.”

Customer: Looks at me with a completely straight face. “Your carts shouldn’t be designed this way.”

They then crunch and splash their way through the mess and carry on shopping like nothing happened.

Sounds Like Dogs Can Cure Anxiety!

A customer walks into the store with a tiny Chihuahua under each arm.

Customer: “Pick up for [Name]. Coconut matcha latte?”

Me: “Yes, it’s right here, and such cute dogs!”

Customer: “Thanks! This is Lexa, and Zack.”

Me: “Cute names, too!”

Customer: “They’re short for Lexapro and Prozac.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Don’t have time to chat, I left Zoloft and Valium in the car but don’t worry the AC is running!”

and all of these are gathered in weed

I’d have chocolate instead of coffee.

At least the third option will keep you awake.

I’ll go along with that.

Overtired doctors in the operating theaters here were recommended: “A sh*t, a shave, and a shower” to refresh them before the next patient.

If only it would be that easy! The only thing I agree with today in this strip is the size of the mug.

I ain’t got anything, I got something!

Amen to that Aunty and I would include a little scripture reading with that coffee.

Sometimes a good cry also helps. You always feel better after a good cry.

START with the coffee

A good sense of humor solves none of the world’s problem, but it does make them easier to bear.

The trifecta………the trinity!!!!!

WRONG Aunty. The best cure is to not get sick in the first place, ie: put down the bottle Aunty and stay sober for once.

Laughter doesn’t do much for a hangover. You should know that.

And as the ‘cures’ take effect, a good shagging and a double shot of bourbon are best for soothing any left over little worries…

I find a good sneeze or series of them can help with a lot of things too.. clears the head, stretches neck muscles that are tight and resets breathing.

Cures? I’m not so sure. But they’re up there on the list of things I enjoy.

When I’m in somebody’s house and they offered me a cup of coffee and it comes in a real cup (4 oz) and I say thank you (but in my head I’m thinking go back there and make another one)

If you have gout, coffee is a bad thing…

I definitely could have used a good sleep Friday night into Saturday morning. I slept horribly and had a big event yesterday. Not only did I need my big cup of coffee, I also needed a Monster Rehab which I couldn’t find in any of the places I went in Niagara Falls so I had to settle on Sugar Free Red Bull (Ick), and a 5-Hour Energy shot. And even with all that, I still walked around like a zombie.

Except for migraines.

Aunty knows best!