Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for July 18, 2024

but Jasper is a fat, tiger-striped cat

pioneervalleybooks•com/collections/jasper-the-cat-1

I know his stuff too. Got a litter rake?

But he’s a great sleeper – he’ll teach you everything he knows.l

He can also wake you back up….at 2 A.M.

But how is he going to fit the patient onto a computer keyboard?

What?

Don’t let him near the laser surgery

Didn’t he used to be in charge of CAT Scans?

Ooooh! Just Puuuuuufect!!

Always ready to prick the skin to see if you’re numb yet.

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty

Purr, purr, purr

My wife had a (thankfully) tiny tumor removed Tuesday and the surgeon said it wouldn’t hurt much because it’s just the breast. It was a good thing my wife didn’t have a sharp object when she woke up. She told me she wanted to demonstrate her level of pain on him. The nurse agreed.

“Once you’re asleep, he’ll knock you off the operating table though.”

I still don’t get it. The weird thing is I see no claws. Is the cat declawed?

You’ll be asleep in no time, and so will he.

You meet your anesthesiologist before you go into the OR or have an oxygen mask on.

Plans to use katamine.

Either a) cats are supposed to be experts on other people’s sleep or b) the gas mix is already waaaaaay off.

Lap + cat = zzzzzz