B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for July 20, 2024

Check the fridge.

your keys are either still in the door or they are in your hand

Right where some dummy put them.

Back left non Euclidean pocket.

You found them in the last place you looked? You should have looked there first!

As a long time Google user I think that is a bit out of date – Google is losing their touch with their drive to AI, it often tries to workout what I mean and gives completely irrelevant results.

Have you heard of the underwater google bandit?

They can’t find him because victims are only giving vague descriptions.

I got an e-mail saying, “At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!” and I thought to myself…

“That’s just spam.”

ChatGPT will help you find your keys. Google is the old dude who still thinks he knows everything.

What is the weather always like above Google’s headquarters?

Cloudy

Google is set to come out with a new browser that manages search results based solely on your DNA

Set to be called the Google Chromosome.

A disgruntled Google Cloud employee asked me for advice on how he could get back at his boss. I told him…

“Don’t forget to tip your server.”

Siri-ously, Google understands me better.

With Google, every day is a search party.

Google’s cloud: Where data rains supreme.

They’re in the door lock. Outside.

It also will often find everything except what you’re actually looking for. When I first got connected to the Internet, back in the mid 90s, I used a search engine called “Northern Lights”. It allowed you to use “AND”, “OR”, and “NOT” to create very specific searches, and it gave results that fit your criteria exactly. No search engine today will do that. Google and other search engines tell you you can use “+” and “-” instead of “AND” and “NOT”, but it doesn’t work. All searches end up being “OR” searches. They also collect data about previous searches and sites you’ve visited, and then give you what they think you want. If you want something today that’s different from the site you visited yesterday, you’re out of luck.

It wrong. Oracle different company. Not relate to Google.

There’s an app for that.

Google can find an ad for everything but cannot find simple information.

Ain’t that the truth.

…..or the TV remote……why didn’t they call it Giggle??

I’m not so sure about that.

But if Google knows, it won’t admit it. Probably.

A character in an old comic strip and song who had a race horse named Spark Plug.

Check under the rock.

And a lot of stuff that has no relationship to what you’re looking for.

I’ve put a tracker tag on my keys; my wife opted out. I’ve needed it a couple of times.

Grog needs keys?

Or glasses!

And just about as useful as the Oracle of Delphi

Before we had our kitchen renovation, I used to keep my keys on a particular cabinet door knob. Now, there is a handle in place of that knob. So, I had to establish a new home base for my keys to know where to find them. The only problem is placing them there. ;-p

Stephen King and his friend Pete Moore can help.

Hire more people friendly & smarter employees.

Google as an oracle, huh? Weren’t the ancient oracles all high on toxic gas or drugs…

Nope Nope NOPE. Keys I can find if I think about it, but while google “could” find anything it won’t. It only finds things that have something attached to sell to me.

Lately you can find anything but what you’re actually searching most of the time.

It won’t tell you why the stretch of 150 W between US 30 and CR 300 N is called “Silveus Crossing”, but it will offer to sell you several thousand homes on that street — in a strict industrial zone.

To be more relevant to the times, shouldn’t it be where you left your cellphone?

“Where? Oh, where have my lousy keys gone? Oh, where? Oh, where have they gone?”

So true.

The keys can be located by another Google called maps.

They have tags for that…. Not hashtags.