The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 18, 2024

mall directory for most malls today…“you are here? no one else is…”

All these are great!

Town Crier: Here Ye! Here Ye!

At Ikea, you don’t need to know where you are, just follow the yellow arrows.

So Ikea shoppers are followers of Warhammer Chaos gods?

It was deliberate so you get to walk around more and buy more.

I don’t want to see what it is for Target shoppers. —→

For fugitives: “I was never here”!

IKEA stores are like a meandering trail designed to make you see everything in the store, a trail with only one way out. Seems fun at first, but turns into a nightmare.

Travel Agency: “You could be here, or here, or here…”

A physicist specializing in superpositions: “You are here, there, and everywhere”…

There you go!

Who are you? And what are you doing in my spot?

What’s a mall?

Is it one of those things from before cell phones and internet again grampa?

Last panel: same for Home Depot.

Same for Costco. I think the Employee of the Week gets to rearrange the store.

Gangster…You were never here, capiche?

I’m just looking for a restroom…anybody?

Conspiracy Theorists: You Are Here “How Do They Know That?”

For dads, you don’t need a directory.

Scott totally missed the chance to put the ghost in a Pac-Man game!

Each and every one an oxymoron.

What about Schrodinger’s cat?

This is amazing.

Real estate agents: “If you lived here, you’d be home now!”

How about Watch your step at Lego Land or Plumbers at work at the Gap

UGH! I was lost for 15 minutes in IKEA. Could not find the exit. I went back to the food court and took a long walk from the front entrance all the way to the parking structure.

Odysseus was located between Scylla and Charybdis.

Wouldn’t the Yoda one say, “Here you are”?

As for Ikea, they don’t let you wander much from their single winding path that makes sure you get shown EVERY DANG THING THEY GIVE A CUTESY FAKE-NORSE NAME TO!!!

Be sure to use the Trøllkärtensröller so you can load up!