Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for July 26, 2024

Halfwit

It’ll cost you an arm and a leg.

Just a little off the top, please.

That’s only for repeat customers.

He gets the beheading for necks to nothing.

All for naught. They both expired.

That’s only good with a minimum purchase.

Now, that man really has chutzpah!!!!!

The strange thing is that there is a headsman (with his axe, but no chopping block) AND a guillotine without a bascule (the tilting platform on which the condemned is strapped). Exactly how will they kill this guy?

Sorry, this coupon is only valid Monday through Wednesday.

Umm. “Just a little off the top” maybe?

Who gets to decide which half is taken off?

No matter how you interpret it, guy’s in for a bad day…

I thought that song said she was flattered by your grey matter, not splattered by it.

A guillotine AND an axe? That’s just overkill.

Split him from top to bottom. He’ll still be allright.

OK, the condemned man goes in the guillotine, and the executioner uses his ax to cut the cord holding the guillotine’s blade up. The executioner might say “there can be only one” first, if he’s a “Highlander” fan.

Wait! He’s going to use a guillotine and an axe. How’s that going to work?

Just a little off the top

Tipping the executioner was good form. You were paying for a clean cut on the first strike of the axe. I don’t know if this changed with the guillotine.

Better use it quick! It expires in two minutes!

Half off? Well, that’s a no brainier.

It worked for the Chicken!

And.. does it come with a choice of what to cut, half off? Please the girlfriend as well.

executioner,,,,, “oh good, I only have to swing half as hard and it’s been a long day!”

That would be my husband, but it’s already expired (pun intended)

There can be only 1! ;-)

“Nuts. I must have left it in my shirt.”

It’s guillotine better all the time…it can’t get no worse.

I just hope that is a pocket he is reaching into.

But the coupon has expired.

For half-wits.

Half off? So you only lose half your head? I don’t think I’d want to risk surviving that.

“half off”… oh jeez! I must be morbid, cuz I just couldn’t stop laughing!!