Monty by Jim Meddick for August 01, 2024

Ah yes, John Wayne toilet paper; rough and tough and don’t take crap off of anyone.

Why don’t you ask me if I have any grey Poupon?

What!? No bidet?

wag: a comical or humorous person; joker; wit

6 ply. One square, and it’s plunger time.

So the TP isn’t to his satisfaction, and he just pulls up his pants and walks out to get a new one? What’s the point of him wiping now, his underwear is already crappy.

I was in a public facility once with no paper products available. All I had was a small spiral notebook. You can probably imagine the results

Oh the humanity, soo much suffering in this hi-dollar camp.

Wag? I must start using that one.

At least, they HAVE toilet paper. I’ve seen TP so thin that you could almost read through it. Good luck not having your fingers get messy. (Yeah, I know. . . TMI)

Save some paper for woodcrafts. Works great as sandpaper.

I’m surprised that Jarvis didn’t bring a bidet to camp for Master Sedgwick’s use.

Roll with the changes.

Sedgie will take the mop. :)

You mean the stuff that is fermented from sacred Egyptian papyrus before being pulverized, perfumed and heavily marketed?

And in the Sahara, where water is precious and saved only for drinking, and trees (the source of paper) are non-existent, it’s considered extremely rude to use your left hand for anything other than …. well, you can guess.

Too bad the camp custodian didn’t have a bucket of leaves

In a recent Facebook anecdote that had been shared, it was mentioned that the ancient Romans used a sponge on a stick. Surely at camp they have plenty of sticks, but the problem may be finding a sponge.

Hey when you go to camp you gotta rough it.

the little pain in the butt is gonna have a pain in his butt

Grade school TP back in the ‘50’s. Tan with little wood splinters visible; kind of like Big Chief tablets

Why doesn’t Jarvis have a roll with him?

A tip from Cap’n Redd Panda…if you’re going camping, always bring some paper towel. Good for a variety of uses.Facecloth, towel, nose blowing, trauma bandages and bum wiping.

He should be glad they have toilet paper in abundance in that camp.

Still beats corn cobs.

The TP in the bathrooms at the historic sites in Scotland years ago was almost as thin and slick as waxed paper.

“Watch out for your cornhole, Bud” – Office Space

Grab a stranger’s sock and use that.

I will start actually reading the text when the little twit is gone.

There were rumors at one of the places I once worked at that someone stole a case of the toilet paper placed in the restrooms. They needed to sand down their new deck before varnishing it. (I was told by one of the secretaries that several of the women on staff brought their own TP to work. That would be one explanation for why they always took their purse with them.)

What is this???? The friggin’ pandemic all over again???? :)

Bring in the Charmin Bear with the berries!

oh, I gots to get me some of that “Chateau Lyon 6-ply quilted”