Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten; Dan Weingarten & David Clark for August 11, 2024

“What are the oranges of this joke?”

I was surprised to see the credit line changed above the comic. Then I saw the fine print at the bottom of panel 4.

Cynthia’s relationship with Grandpa seems to have taken the edge off her cynicism. Proving the value of grandparents.

If someone gave me a “cognitive test” that dumb, and I’d thought of it, I’d have done the same thing.

It was helpful of the doctor to orange those images in that sequence.

A man walks into a Doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?” he asks the Doctor.

The Doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly…"

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Patient: “Doctor, Doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”

Doctor: “Yes, of course.”

Patient: “Great! I never could before!”

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Patient: “Doctor, Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”

Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles…”

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Patient: “Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m losing my memory!”

Doctor: “When did that happen?”

Patient: “When did what happen?”

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Patient: “Doctor, Doctor, it hurts when I do this!”

Doctor: “Then, don’t do that!”

I would like a rule passed that only people who pronounce “orange” correctly can make that joke. In one episode of Clifford’s Puppy Days (oh no, I’m not as old as I pretend to be!), Shun (I had to look up his name) did the old banana-orange knock-knock joke, but pronounced it “ore-inge” which, of course, ruins the joke!

I told my accountant I can’t make ends meet. He said that’s not how you make a sandwich.

I became familiar with these cognitive tests when I accompanied my friend with worsening dementia to several medical appointments. He couldn’t draw a clock face, connect similar objects in an order of size, or most other tests. Then the doc produced a drawing of a typical maze for him to solve. My friend, who before retirement was an engineer designing large scale computer chips, used his pencil to quickly draw an unbroken line from the start to the end of the maze without a pause or an error. The doctor admitted that he had never seen that done by someone with my friend’s condition.

I’ve seen that name before. I think Kevin Dopart is a frequent contributor to the Invitational, hosted by Gene Weingarten.

Passed — but not with flying colors — INCLUDING orange!!

Touché

Sorry but I don’t get this at all. Would someone please be as nice as to explain it to me?