Herman by Jim Unger for August 06, 2024

Sell him some from NewBalance.

But who would you be worrying for?

Do they have skates with heavy duty shock absorbers?

You’d lie awake at night from the screams emitting from the skates ! Poor skates.

Sell a shirt to go with the skates that warns, ‘Wide Load/ Do Not Follow’

Okay, keep ’em for yourself, azzole.

That’s ok, he wants inline skates

Cue Melanie:

♪♫ "Well, I’ve got a brand-new pair of roller skates

You’ve got a brand-new key

I think that we should get together

And try them on to see" ♫♪

Yeah, those poor roller skates…

All that weight moving at velocity! E=mc2

not so lucky, then?

Weaponised wheels?

He must do roller derby and stunts.

I’d suggest searching YouTube for “pink panther tickled pink” to see what could go wrong with roller skates

Said no one ever…

And if you sold him some ice skates they’d be ice breakers.

Those wheels wouldn’t have last long.

I hadn’t worn roller skates since I was a kid but when I moved to Venice Beach, I rented a pair of roller blades for the day. I got as far as Lincoln Blvd. Coming back was downhill. I was stopping by grabbing onto stop signs and telephone poles. A guy walking by hailed me and spent five minutes showing me how to drag-brake with one skate. He said he was late for work but didnt’ want to read in the newsspaper that I had been run over by a truck. Nice guy.

He’d be good in the roller derby.

Why would it bother him? I see people of all sizes and ages skating outdoors on the paved trail our park system put in. I’m a senior, and I rollerblade right along with them.

HAHAHA!