Pickles by Brian Crane for August 16, 2024

Earl would be smart to leave her alone and let the real art critics tear her to shreds!

That would be a nice retirement life. Live in a floating barn.

Never comment on the content of a painting or ask how many months along are you.

“ahoy, up there in the hayloft!"

Yesterday you got a painted green nose, today you might get a real black eye

And she never took painting lessons.

Opal’s an impressionist, obviously. Her paintings are impressively horrible.

Good save Earl!

Maybe it’s Noah’s ark. That would combine the features of both.

Nice try, Earl…

“I love paintings of sailboats and old barns and red, squiggly Christmas trees.”

Appears to be a houseboat

Talk about closing the barn door after the sailboats got out!

Generally speaking, Earl can’t hit the broad side of a sailboat with his compliments.

She needs to watch Bob Ross.

If you can’t tell what it is? It’s either really bad art, or really good impressionism.

I used to have a picture in my office, of what looked something like an abstract cityscape with skyscrapers, and nightfall or a storm approaching from the left. There were also a few numbers. Occasionally someone would see it and ask what it was supposed to be. I’d agree to tell them if they first told me what they thought it was. So it was a kind of conversation piece.

What was it, really? Something I’d found in a wastebasket by a printer. This was during the early days of office computers, and the word processing program we were using required you to select the printer driver for the particular printer you were using. The printout I’d found was made using the wrong driver. So, it was simply a printing error.

Its a cow. in a barn. on a sailboat.

It’s all interpretation!

“Go away kid……. yer botherin’ me”

Earl’s going to out do her by painting an old bat using Opal as his model.

Digging a hole, Earl! Be more vague…

Also…never try to answer the question “do these jeans make my b**t look big?”

So it is a Wisconsin license plate?

He’s trying.

Just say you like it without commenting on the subject.

Go find something to do Earl, away from Opal.

In modern art, only the artist knows for sure. So ask them what it is.

Flashback to when she flunked out of Kindergarten for finger painting with the middle finger.

I thought art was open to the interpretation of the viewer?

I was thinking it was a flower.

Reminds me of when a neighbor of mine was doing pencil sketches and I remarked “Oh, wow, an homage to the show ‘The Walking Dead’” thinking I was looking at a zombie. He remarked back “That’s one of The Golden Girls.” I wasn’t sure which door would get me out of the house faster.