Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for October 25, 2024

The Signature Stench Of A Scarcity Of Self-Awareness

I work in an office connected to a large warehouse. The office microwave has recently been moved out to a well-ventilated part of the warehouse, at the back, near a big door that’s always open.

I’m using the microwave when another office coworker walks over.

Coworker: “Ugh… I hate that they moved the microwave all the way out here. I wonder why they did that?!”

I look into her plastic container containing nothing but tuna and eggs.

Me: “It’s a mystery.”

My coworker then removes a second container from her bag, containing broccoli, fine beans, and diced garlic.

Coworker: “I swear, it makes no sense!”

A New And Old Type Of Problem

I have a web development client. He is testing the software; it involves writing and publishing business listings. Every time he posts a listing it contains line breaks in weird places.

So there would be normal lines like this,but then theywould break after just a word or two, thentherewould be another full line, then just one ortwo morewords.

I rack my brain about what could be causing this. I notice that his emails to me do this sometimes too. Finally, it hits me.

Me: “Are you… hitting the enter/return key manually when your words start to reach the right edge of the text box, instead of just continuing typing and letting it break naturally?”

Client: “Yes, of course; isn’t that how you’re supposed to do it?”

Me: “No! You just keep typing. The new line will start automatically.”

Client: “Oh, so it’s a bit different from my typewriter?”

Now It’s Guitars, Cadillacs… And Instant Karma!

When I was in college, my roommate and I decided to drive over to his parents’ house for a few hours. On the way, the state was working on bridges and overpasses in an area. They funneled all traffic into a single-lane (instead of two) cattle chute each way and kept it that way for some distance, rather than deal with multiple merges.

We were in the middle of that, chugging along at the posted speed limit with my roommate driving, and a cream Cadillac whipped up behind us, tailgating ferociously. We got off that bridge, and the Caddy dove out through the barrier barrels, scattering them all over, flipped us off as he passed, and swerved back in, scattering more barrels.

Roommate: Muttering “Why is there never a cop—”

Then, he suddenly jerked up, looking in the mirror. We dropped out the end of the cattle chute, we pulled to the right, and four or five cops whipped past on our left.

A few miles down the road, there was the cream Caddie again, surrounded by cops and cop cars, with the driver out performing a field sobriety check.

Apparently, he failed, because when we came through on our way back several hours later, the cops were gone, but the Cadillac was still there.

It can be quick.

Karma never runs on our schedule.

“Instant Karma” only exists in a song.

Because you want to be there to see it.

At first I was confused, Aunty. Why were you wanting your own karma so quickly?

And Aunty never met a Hershey Kismet she didn’t like.

You could ask Jesus Christ – He nuked Karma 2000 years ago on the Cross of Calvary. Called GRACE now. Un Huh.

I have enough trouble running my own life. I don’t have the time or energy to try to run other people’s lives.

I do enjoy schadenfreude, taking delight in the misfortunes of others, especially when I think they deserve it (being judgmental here), however even this has limits. I never do anything to cause it and I do not enjoy it if there is physical or catastrophic harm. Mostly I like seeing people embarrassed as a consequence of something they did themselves. I certainly enjoy seeing politicians taken down a notch or two.

Aunty, as much as you seem to b!tch, one might think that you are Karma herself.

I think my karma happens to me every day.

I would think she would think that’s a good thing, so it takes longer to happen to her.

Karma is best served cold.

Oh, but it’s so sweet when it’s finally delivered.

Karma has no time limit, it may happen in the next lifetime.

nodding about karma

Karma is paid back IN THE NEXT LIFE. Not sure why so many Americans have trouble with that concept.

2 Peter 3:9

My thought exactly!!!

…..did not think you were political…..