The Signature Stench Of A Scarcity Of Self-Awareness
I work in an office connected to a large warehouse. The office microwave has recently been moved out to a well-ventilated part of the warehouse, at the back, near a big door that’s always open.
I’m using the microwave when another office coworker walks over.
Coworker: “Ugh… I hate that they moved the microwave all the way out here. I wonder why they did that?!”
I look into her plastic container containing nothing but tuna and eggs.
Me: “It’s a mystery.”
My coworker then removes a second container from her bag, containing broccoli, fine beans, and diced garlic.
I have a web development client. He is testing the software; it involves writing and publishing business listings. Every time he posts a listing it contains line breaks in weird places.
So there would be normal lines like this,but then theywould break after just a word or two, thentherewould be another full line, then just one ortwo morewords.
I rack my brain about what could be causing this. I notice that his emails to me do this sometimes too. Finally, it hits me.
Me: “Are you… hitting the enter/return key manually when your words start to reach the right edge of the text box, instead of just continuing typing and letting it break naturally?”
Client: “Yes, of course; isn’t that how you’re supposed to do it?”
Me: “No! You just keep typing. The new line will start automatically.”
Client: “Oh, so it’s a bit different from my typewriter?”
When I was in college, my roommate and I decided to drive over to his parents’ house for a few hours. On the way, the state was working on bridges and overpasses in an area. They funneled all traffic into a single-lane (instead of two) cattle chute each way and kept it that way for some distance, rather than deal with multiple merges.
We were in the middle of that, chugging along at the posted speed limit with my roommate driving, and a cream Cadillac whipped up behind us, tailgating ferociously. We got off that bridge, and the Caddy dove out through the barrier barrels, scattering them all over, flipped us off as he passed, and swerved back in, scattering more barrels.
Roommate: Muttering “Why is there never a cop—”
Then, he suddenly jerked up, looking in the mirror. We dropped out the end of the cattle chute, we pulled to the right, and four or five cops whipped past on our left.
A few miles down the road, there was the cream Caddie again, surrounded by cops and cop cars, with the driver out performing a field sobriety check.
Apparently, he failed, because when we came through on our way back several hours later, the cops were gone, but the Cadillac was still there.
Yakety Sax about 4 hours ago
The Signature Stench Of A Scarcity Of Self-Awareness
I work in an office connected to a large warehouse. The office microwave has recently been moved out to a well-ventilated part of the warehouse, at the back, near a big door that’s always open.
I’m using the microwave when another office coworker walks over.
Coworker: “Ugh… I hate that they moved the microwave all the way out here. I wonder why they did that?!”
I look into her plastic container containing nothing but tuna and eggs.
Me: “It’s a mystery.”
My coworker then removes a second container from her bag, containing broccoli, fine beans, and diced garlic.
Coworker: “I swear, it makes no sense!”
Yakety Sax about 4 hours ago
A New And Old Type Of Problem
I have a web development client. He is testing the software; it involves writing and publishing business listings. Every time he posts a listing it contains line breaks in weird places.
So there would be normal lines like this,but then theywould break after just a word or two, thentherewould be another full line, then just one ortwo morewords.
I rack my brain about what could be causing this. I notice that his emails to me do this sometimes too. Finally, it hits me.
Me: “Are you… hitting the enter/return key manually when your words start to reach the right edge of the text box, instead of just continuing typing and letting it break naturally?”
Client: “Yes, of course; isn’t that how you’re supposed to do it?”
Me: “No! You just keep typing. The new line will start automatically.”
Client: “Oh, so it’s a bit different from my typewriter?”
Yakety Sax about 4 hours ago
Now It’s Guitars, Cadillacs… And Instant Karma!
When I was in college, my roommate and I decided to drive over to his parents’ house for a few hours. On the way, the state was working on bridges and overpasses in an area. They funneled all traffic into a single-lane (instead of two) cattle chute each way and kept it that way for some distance, rather than deal with multiple merges.
We were in the middle of that, chugging along at the posted speed limit with my roommate driving, and a cream Cadillac whipped up behind us, tailgating ferociously. We got off that bridge, and the Caddy dove out through the barrier barrels, scattering them all over, flipped us off as he passed, and swerved back in, scattering more barrels.
Roommate: Muttering “Why is there never a cop—”
Then, he suddenly jerked up, looking in the mirror. We dropped out the end of the cattle chute, we pulled to the right, and four or five cops whipped past on our left.
A few miles down the road, there was the cream Caddie again, surrounded by cops and cop cars, with the driver out performing a field sobriety check.
Apparently, he failed, because when we came through on our way back several hours later, the cops were gone, but the Cadillac was still there.
TStyle78 about 4 hours ago
It can be quick.
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 4 hours ago
Karma never runs on our schedule.
electricshadow Premium Member about 3 hours ago
“Instant Karma” only exists in a song.
Macushlalondra about 3 hours ago
Because you want to be there to see it.
blunebottle about 2 hours ago
At first I was confused, Aunty. Why were you wanting your own karma so quickly?
PraiseofFolly 23 minutes ago
And Aunty never met a Hershey Kismet she didn’t like.