That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 15, 2024

“Ma’am, I’m just trying to tell you that you are now stepping in a pile of dog poo.”

“You’re trying to woo me with this pathetic mansion? Why, my summer home is larger than this.”

I once came home with two black eyes. My wife asked me “How did you get your right eye black?”. I answered “Well when I was sitting on the bus I saw a lady standing in front of me with her skirt wedged up her crack, so being a gentleman I reached forward and pulled it out. Wham!” Oh, so how did you get your left eye black?" she asked. Well I said “I thought she must have liked it that way, so I tucked in back in for her”. WHACK!

Was that pudddle there before?

/// She dismisses this love smitten man

with her back and a wave of her fan.

Gifts he’d offered before

now lay, spurned, on the floor.

In the “race for her heart”— also ran.

Rule #37 of romance: Never attempt to woo a woman when you’re wearing her stockings.

He’s going to need more muscle/

If he’s going to bust through that bustle/

For his blood, though it’s blue/

Is pallid of hue /

And deficient in red corpuscle.

It took a while to get all that out!

I like big butts and I cannot lie

You other brothers can’t deny

That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist

And a round thing in your face, you get sprung

The Couple was matched by computer/

so he does seem a suitable suitor/

and she isn’t impressed/

for in person his gender is neuter.

WHY SIR, I never allow a butt pat on the first date. I must now sick my spaniel on you!

“Begone, knave, or I shall command my annoying little rat-dog to nip at your heels and yap you into insanity. Come to think of it, just take the wretched beast with you.

Dog to the rescue.

Between their choice of running apparel and their inability to coordinate the baton handoff, the Duke and Duchess never stood a chance in the Royal Relay Race.

She rejects him- and one can see why:/

His pantaloons end at mid-thigh./

And his ornate chapeau/

Is sufficient to show/

That he’d rather be courting a guy..

Not that there’s anything wrong with that..

They couldn’t sit down with those things. Did it have a stool built in? I suppose all those corset straps helped with dragging the stool around.

I wondered who was “clapping” when she entered the room…

Note That the Negative Space Separating the Man and the Woman Forms Only an Imperfect Silhouette of the South American Continent. Sadly, the “Geography in Oils” Curriculum Failed to Engage 19th Century British Schoolboys, and Learning Was Destined to Remain ‘No Fun’ Until the Debut of ABC’s “Schoolhouse Rock” More Than a Century Later

My dear lovely lady, I must admit I would pay to see what makes your bustle sway so….

“Come back when you’re wearing long pants, sonny.”

“You were clearly trying to hustle my bustle.”

He’s chic in his velvet drawers/

But her ladyship blithely ignores/

With a flick of her fan/

One helluva man:/

In that outfit he seldom “scores”..

The Reluctant Courtship: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings of people with dogs" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Brave search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Andrews, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3391 (October 14, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .jpg from the URL). I’ve added a comment there pointing to the sparse info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, first work by him used here.

Sir Reginald was having little luck recruiting anyone into his Fan Club.

must be hot in Vienna, hes not wearing leggings and she is off-gassing vile Oder under that dress. such as olden times work.

“You Overreach Yourself, Squire Mix-A-Lot, I Cannot Marry You. I Will Wed a Knight of the Realm, or Remain as I Am.”

Miss? I can’t afford to pay to get into the Museum. With all that space – I was hoping you could sneak me in?

Let us repair to a room, where your hand thus meet its doom! (Ok, it’s not Solstice poetry, but it checks out..)