Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for October 20, 2024

Curse you and these totally under-done noodles! Oh my Lord, what’s up with these boiled eggs!

The thievery was a net loss.

Indeed, a web of deceit.

More tragic was the fact that I failed to read the high altitude instructions when I wove the malaria net into a wedding dress. The result was a pair of patent leather tuxedo shoes as a single order of duck confit.

I ran through all the usual scary things. Zombies, mummies, insect invasions, improperly prepared pancakes. I briefly toyed with a Bride of Frankenstein motif. It had real potential. There would be a central body outline, and a head, with a variety of other body parts, all tinted green, with paper doll tabs, as a joke. But it required a slightly ribald nature to really bring it home, so I abandoned it. Also, it had too many pieces, both literally and figuratively. The design needed to be simple. It needed uncluttered lines. It needed warm autumnal colors. It needed to be something beyond my capacity to imagine at the moment. I should have gone with a creative genius power instead of telekinesis. Was there even one? There had to be, right? Maybe special glasses that let you see marketability?

Oh, I’m sorry, I borrowed it. I thought it was cheesecloth. I used it to strain my beef stock.

…malaria nets contain insecticide that can last for years…

…so it depends on your definition of defective…

…of course it would be perfect for Wednesday Addams wedding …

…she’s marrying Adam Lambert…

…with no amount of Brian May or Roger Taylor…

…will ever be a Freddie Mercury…

…and without the brilliance of John Deacon …

…no matter how much of Queen’s crew and equipment…

…is not Queen…

…and while having 30 year hired hands pretending to be the Cat & the Spaceman …

…it’s still more Paul Stanley and the Gene Simmons show …

…than it is KI$$…

…I am not denying their talents and hard works…

…these nets are defective…

frogs are applauding everywhere!

Eyepiece, codpiece, wallet and watch.

Check.

Hysteria, bacteria, mallet and march!

She’s BAWK …‼️⁉️❗️

( post no bills )

X-ray glasses. A Must.

Sir, we labor hard here at the height of absurdity.

Field note 10/20/24 – 613:

Observation: The Prince of Thieves inevitably becomes either the Jamie of Dimons… the Joker of Private Clubs… and/or the King of Farts.

Ongoing: Cause(s) of half-empty syndrome of Glass–Steagall as yet not fully unearthed, and remain partially buried and in conflict with half-full Smoot–Hawley.

[hashtag] J.M. Keynes @ The Adam Smith Institute for the Destitute

I still carry the emotional scars of attempting my lowland brownie recipe after moving to Denver.

Today’s Opaque, King-Snake Clambake Senryū du Jour:

“Frog legs or dog-legs

to the right — it’s their Applause

Sauce with / without cause."

— Sedate Beefcake & Cheesecake Monthly versus Achy Breaky Heart / Earthquakey-Cheesestakey Cumpnee Quarterly, courtesy RCA/BMI Body Mass Index©

Where I come from, we call those mosquito nets, “toldos”.

Hang Ten Stir in two sided sticky tape.

Fortunately the goggles remain.

Gosh Dern Batman and Robbin.

Yes, The Dynamic Duo and Gotham City goes face-off with The Thief and his five finger discounts at the city’s local establishments.

Stay close to the bube tube for future crime fighting adventures. Our fingers hold tight to the crossies and Father Alfred and Juicy Batgirl.

Peaches Made Beers and Comic Central is loose as The Goose w/The Golden Girls® period…

My tequila-sunrise-goggles bend the early morning light softly, sweetly — sweeping past the hole in my heart where my missing high-altitude malaria net (and oxygen tent) used to be.

[sigh]

It’s going be another spectacular day.

Those x-ray specs cost at least $1.25

To the thief who stole my antidepressants: I hope you’re happy now.