1 and Done by Eric Scott for November 25, 2024

You would think an omnipotent being could have all the donuts he wants.

It was the holey donut…

But God, you have to eat them while they are fresh!

Without coffee?

Two food rules: It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature, and NEVER eat God’s last Homer Simpson donut!

I read an interesting midrash about the expulsion of Adam and Eve. It suggested that the story — remembering that the idea of it being literal history would have been laughable to people of that time — was a metaphor for entering adulthood. The price you pay for maturity, both sexual and mental, is a loss of innocence and the obligation to work for a living.

Adam brought cinnamon raisin bagels to the meeting.

So God didn’t want man to know the difference between good and evil? I guess that explains a lot about some modern religions.

To be fair, they ate the last donut first, so they didn’t know it was wrong at the time.

Go forth and multiply thy donuts

…he was saving that donut for a snack. BAD, Adam and Eve

They ate the last Butterfinger in the vending machine, too.

Half-crazed, they grazed on glazed, and in disgrace, they left to place for outer space.

11th commandment: Do nut take the last donut.

I never saw a problem with eating the last donut. The last donut is a pathetic powdered donut that sits around in the box into the late afternoon. You’re doing the poor thing a favor by eating it rather than having it get tossed in the trash the next morning.