Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 23, 2024

He’s very responsible. If something goes wrong, he’s responsible.

That may be the nicest thing Rat has ever said about Pig.

Something insanely odd seems to be going on with RAT, even GOAT seems to be getting worse, but, RAT seems to be becoming kinder, and stronger, and smarter, maybe he’s watching the new Sesame Street…Dan aka…ps hmmm…

Why would a letter of recommendation from Rat mean anything? I can’t recall Pig ever having worked for him.

That’s the best Rat could do, he thinks he’s being nice!

Some days the best I can come up with is, “I can’t think of anything too terribly bad about him.”

But I fall back on my early upbringing, “If you can’t say something nice…”

My favorite, “Hire the jerk. Whaddya got to lose?”

Huh. They can say Wiseass…

Never ask Rat for anything. He’ll just bring you down.

Pushes on doors marked “pull”

“He’s not quite as dumb as he looks.”

“If you have a surplus in your budget that you don’t mind wasting, hire him”

One hundredth upvote!

Lame punch line, Stephan. Edit that last panel to say, “I’ve decided to, after years of insults from you, kill you with a hammer, Rat. Your guts and brain matter will splatter and stain the floor and walls of this domicile for years, because I’m not going to clean it up. I’ll gleefully watch the bugs and vermin devour and frolic in the inner soups of your former living fluids.”

Because the person Pig will work for is the big dumb@##!

He’s not smarter than his boss, so he doesn’t have to worry about looking bad

I prefer the Groucho Marx approach.

That needs to be rephrased in a nicer way.

“Mainly because you’re too big a dumb@## for your brain to grasp Pig’s dumb@##ery."

Written by AI: Assumed Intelligence.

Must be a recommendation for a supervisory or management position. From my 40+ year working life, only dumb(bleeps) got those jobs, non-dumb(bleeps) need not apply. Same thing about HR.

Well, if you’re going to ask Rat for a letter of reference…

that would be an Honest recommendation. Recommendations are a complete waste of time, nobody would say a bad thing about you and you only give names of people/coworkers you are friends with