Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for December 29, 2024

Ambi-Sux-terous

(We are in English class and our teacher asked us to write some sentences on the board. A guy in my class decides to show off an unusual skill.)

Student: “I’m ambidextrous. Do you want to see?”

(The class gets interested. He proceeds to write the sentence our teacher assigned him with both hands at the same time. While we all agree that this is impressive, his writing itself… isn’t.)

Teacher: “Holy s***, you can’t write with either hand!”

She Hates Lefties

Coworker: “Why are you left-handed now?”

Me: “I’m ambidextrous, and today I need to use my left hand.”

Coworker: “You’re like one of those hipster thingies aren’t you? You pretend to be different things, like a man one day and a woman the next, and then some days you pretend you’re nothing. It makes me sick. Be normal, you ho-mo!”

Me: “Well, aren’t you a seething pot of excrement.”

(She complained to HR about that comment and we had to do a counselling session together. She started crying at one point, and I got very cold looks from the counsellor, as though it was my fault. The counsellor’s attitude changed, though, at the end of the meeting, when I signed a form with my right hand, and my coworker went on a virtually identical rant. The counsellor advised she take time off. It’s been three months and she still isn’t back. I do the payroll, so I know she is still getting paid, and nothing has come my way saying why she has been off for so long.)

Attack Of The Ambidextrous Arthritic Spanish Speakers!

I am helping some customers (an older couple) at my register when I get a call from the manager asking me to help a Spanish caller. Since I have a headset, I can speak and scan items at the same time, so I assist the Spanish customer, and they hang up satisfied before I turn back to the customer I am serving.

Me: “That’s $188.81, please.”

Customer: “How did you do that?!”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “You just spoke another language!”

Me: “Oh, yes, I sometimes help our Spanish customers if they struggle with English.”

Customer: “But… how can you do that?!”

Me: “I’m bilingual.”

Customer: “Does that mean you can write with both of your hands?”

Me: “No, it means I can speak two languages. Writing with both of your hands is ambidextrous.”

Customer’s Husband: “I thought that was arthritis.”

Me: “No, that’s a disease.”

Customer’s Husband: “Being able to write with both hands is a disease?”

Customer: “No, it’s just the Spanish name for it.”

Me: Frantic “That’s $188.81, please!”

They (mercifully) pay without getting more confused. My next customer has heard it all and is laughing.

Next Customer: “Aww, why did you stop them? I wanted to see how deep that rabbit hole could go…”

My best friend is ambidextrous. What’s more, he can write with both hands at once, and even write backwards legibly with one of the hands. It served him in good stead when he owned his own electronics repair business.

I used to know someone who was ambidextrous. It was a good thing for him since he had to sign a lot of things. When one hand got tired, he could switch to the other. His signature looked pretty much the same with either hand. I always thought he was lucky.

Us lefties do a lot of things with our right hands – it is required!

We are blessed.

One person I know can do things with both hands. Her name is Amber Dex Treeus.

I write with my left hand. I operate most hand tools with my left hand, although not exclusively. Where I have disagreement with terminology is when they refer to baseball, hockey and golf as right-handed, yet it is the left hand which is dominant in swinging. I hold tennis, badminton and ping-pong rackets in my left hand. It is only natural to swing a bat or golf club leading with the left hand.

Every once in a while I look at someone doing something and think … “How can they do that with their left hand?”

I can write with either hand. If legibility doesn’t count.

Learned to move the computer mouse with my left hand after soreness in my right shoulder. Used the game Zuma to train. Now my left shoulder is getting sore.

It’s important to not injure the hand that you wipe with, just saying

Right handed: dexterous. Left handed: sinister. Equally skilled with both hands: ambidextrous. Equally unskilled with both hands (me): spastic.

I’m one of those “bats left, throws right” people. Feels normal to me.

I was born right handed and after a brain stem stroke (and a few intervening years) my hand writing got bad enough l learned to write with my left hand. You do what you have to do. :-}

We had an art teacher in college that had us hold a pencil in both hands and draw shapes with both at same time. Turns out most people can do it, your drawing style is the same with both hands, and your non dominant hand is a little more wobbly simply because you haven’t exercised the muscles to the same degree as your dominant hand.

When it comes to archery, your dominant eye (eye you aim with) is more important than your dominant hand. My son is right handed but uses a left handed bow.

…..sometimes the DNA is weird!!!!!

My dad was a lefty since the school when he was young didn’t know how to teach a child that was left handed they taught him to use is right hand..

Interesting. I’d never thought of it that way but it’s so true.

In general, yes. In reality, no.

On the other hand….

Growing up with 7 right handed people I learned to do most things with both hands although fine skills like writing are all left handed. My son and grand daughter are both left handed so it’s nice to have other lefties around.

I am cross dominant and can do a lot of things with either hand but certain things that require fine motor skills I use the right hand, I was born a leftie.

Nope Both Paws Work the Same.

My oldest sister is totally right handed – except for eating. If she ever had to eat right handed she would starve to death.

Mostly I’m ambisinistral.

Nope, I’m ambidextrous.

I’m left-handed for eating and writing, but right-handed with everything else; I once read a study/poll that indicated that ~98% of “left-handed” people actually use their right hand for almost everything.