Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 15, 2002

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Presents: News of the Times Up: Down And Down Is Up, Says Administration Highlighting his administration's defining attribute, the ability to state known falsehoods with utter sincerity, President Bush again insisted that UP is DOWN. George W. Bush: Look: UP is DOWN. It's that simple! George W. Bush: There are some folks who say that up is up, and to them I say: "I respectfully disagree." But we'll study it. White House spokesman Ari Fleischer held firm. Voice: Isn't UP, by definition, UP? Ari: I believe I answered that at the start when I said, "UP IS DOWN." NEXT! And contrarian experts were produced. Professor: You say UP must be up, but the whole theory of tautology is just THAT: A THEORY! Professor Schwizer, of the University of Companies-That-Profit-By-Up-Being-Called-Down Vice President Cheney was not as patient with opponents. Dick Cheney: During a WAR, you're questioning whether UP is DOWN?! And Bush stayed on-message. George W. Bush: The American people can't be railroaded by the media elite into believing that UP is not DOWN. Man: Uh...yeah. Man #2: You tell 'em! A White House report seemed to undermine Bush's position... Up May Be Up ANd It's Too Late To Do Anything About It But the President was quick to distance himself from it. George W. Bush: Those bureaucrats may say UP is UP...but that's not how it looks from where I stand! SNICKER MMPH Quit it, Cheney! You'll make me laugh!