Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 14, 2004

Transcript:

News of the Times Janet Jackson Orders Probe of Wardrobe Malfunction Pop songstress Janet Jackson will create an independent commission to investigate the "wardrobe malfunction" that caused her breast to be exposed at the Super Bowl's halftime show. The subject of the inquiry will be Jackson's Costume Infrastructure Association, or "C.I.A." Janet: We need to investigate how the C.I.A. allowed this essential failure of apparel to occur. Critics say it was Jackson and her advisors who ordered the C.I.A.to provide faulty bustier support. Lady: Flimsier! Guy: Don't sew! Velcro! Seamstress: B-But... And key members of the Jackson team seemed to enter the project with preconceived notions. But Jackson maintains she is the victim of the botched "costume reveal." Janet: I'm a consumer of the C.I.A.'s services. It was not my intent to be standing in front of 140 million people looking sexy and outrageous, and I'll keep probing until I can blame it on the C.I.A. President Bush offered support for Jackson's inquiry. Bush: In my administration, I'd order any sham investigation to protect a boob from being revealed.