If you’re going to be a corpse, you might as well be an attractive-looking one.
Besides, they used to be competent. As Clone Troopers in STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS, they could actually shoot well and needed the armor to (among other things) survive getting bitten by monsters. Obi-Wan Kenobi said of their heirs, “And these blast points: too precise for Sandpeople. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.”
Then as-yet-untrained Luke Skywalker shows up with insanely lucky Han Solo on the Death Star, and after that none of the Stormtroopers can hit the broad side of a docking bay from inside…at least until the next movie. Go figure.
The stromtroopers who took out the sandcrawler were seasoned field troops who had probably at least a dozen slow-moving Jawa sandcrawlers to their credit.
The ones on the Death Star were green recruits who probably didn’t even get shooting practice time because, well, who expected them to ever have to shoot anybody?
If I may my put forth theory on the accuracy of the Storm Troopers. Once Luke and Han were present, their subconscious control of the “Force” allowed them to increase their natural abilities and at the same time decrease or affect the troopers abilities.
Per Star Wars Lore, the Death Star was in fact crewed by the hand picked best the Empire had to offer. Not units, mind you, but individual troopers. That meant there was NO unit cohesion (remember the thing was barely operational). It was made worse because the troops were assigned ALPHABETICALLY to diferent sectors of the station. So yes, every one of those idiots could have been named Bob in one section. And the troops were also startled that ANYBODY would ever need them in the first place. After all, attacking that battle station wouldn’t be an act of courage, it would be more like suicide :) Amazing how quickly elite troops can lose their edge. I personally thought this was much more apropriate to places like Comcast or Dell technical support…
margueritem over 15 years ago
You’ll fit in well with all the rest.
Jml58 over 15 years ago
Officer masterial.
Edcole1961 over 15 years ago
Another important prerequisite is that you have to be able to be killed on only one shot. Why did they bother with the armor, anyway?
Rakkav over 15 years ago
If you’re going to be a corpse, you might as well be an attractive-looking one.
Besides, they used to be competent. As Clone Troopers in STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS, they could actually shoot well and needed the armor to (among other things) survive getting bitten by monsters. Obi-Wan Kenobi said of their heirs, “And these blast points: too precise for Sandpeople. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.”
Then as-yet-untrained Luke Skywalker shows up with insanely lucky Han Solo on the Death Star, and after that none of the Stormtroopers can hit the broad side of a docking bay from inside…at least until the next movie. Go figure.
BillTidler over 15 years ago
Sounds like some people I used to work with.
wicky over 15 years ago
As opposed to “the alien job unfair”.
McGehee over 15 years ago
The stromtroopers who took out the sandcrawler were seasoned field troops who had probably at least a dozen slow-moving Jawa sandcrawlers to their credit.
The ones on the Death Star were green recruits who probably didn’t even get shooting practice time because, well, who expected them to ever have to shoot anybody?
McGehee over 15 years ago
Yes, as a matter of fact I do need a life. Why do you ask?
wndrwrthg over 15 years ago
If I may my put forth theory on the accuracy of the Storm Troopers. Once Luke and Han were present, their subconscious control of the “Force” allowed them to increase their natural abilities and at the same time decrease or affect the troopers abilities.
phydeaux44 over 15 years ago
More to the point: have any of you ever put on one of those helmets and tried to sight through it? No wonder there were so many misses.
Trebor39 over 15 years ago
Ok, so whose the guy in the black body suit and helmet? Oh, and I like the cape.
PaulAtreides over 15 years ago
I say the originals are still the best.
OneWithTheUniverse over 15 years ago
Having a life is overrated.
BigChewie01 over 15 years ago
Per Star Wars Lore, the Death Star was in fact crewed by the hand picked best the Empire had to offer. Not units, mind you, but individual troopers. That meant there was NO unit cohesion (remember the thing was barely operational). It was made worse because the troops were assigned ALPHABETICALLY to diferent sectors of the station. So yes, every one of those idiots could have been named Bob in one section. And the troops were also startled that ANYBODY would ever need them in the first place. After all, attacking that battle station wouldn’t be an act of courage, it would be more like suicide :) Amazing how quickly elite troops can lose their edge. I personally thought this was much more apropriate to places like Comcast or Dell technical support…
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace almost 6 years ago
“Perfect cannon fodder if we ever go back to cannons.”
Elmer6 about 1 year ago
“Can you do a Wilhelm scream?”