Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for June 15, 2011

I’ve already paid my NY Jewish lawyer a retainer to represent me at the Pearly Gates.

That’s funny…No laywers will ever get to the perley gates..Id ask for your retainer back.

Luck for you that you didn’t drive into hell.

♫Then I’m dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sunTorn and twisted at the foot of a burning’ bikeAnd I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bellAnd the last thing I see is my heart Still beating Oh breaking out of my bodyAnd flying awayLike a bat out of hell♫♪

He must have driven angry.

“For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that GOD raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Rom. 10:9 (NLT).He must have been dying and saying “oh God, help me. Oh God, help me.”

Maybe he’s there because he scared the he— out of hundreds of other drivers and pedestrians…

Last night, hours before reading this, I wrote the word ‘Pray’ on my rearview mirror. Okay…. I admit it is mainly to unnerve passengers. The bells remind me not to drive like hell, and give me something to play with when driving is boring ; )

Nice profile on St. Pete’s left arm.Whew, Lew, I didn’t have to beg for some of your meds.

Is that a running horse under the golden gate at the extreme left?

Allan V hit a home run…..

Did you drive a hotrod?

As the person at the gate has wings I will assume it is an Angel, not God. But I have a question for you bibical scholars … Does God have a beard?

At least I’m enjoying the ride.

If he drove to the Golden Gates, does that get him near San Francisco?

St. Peter has the keys to the kingdom.(Matthew 16:19) From that, the concept of him standing at the “Pearly Gates” is tradition.

He sure didn’t get there by driving like heaven!

UncleWhy, if man creates God in his own image, would that mean that ……. ummm …. okay then. Miss you

I am rather shocked. I thought the quote was something like: Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

The “hell”-driver certainly seems alright with it!

I’m not quoting accurately but the Genesis story says (I think) “Let us make man in our image.” I realize the very early stories are passed down through generations and may have some interpretations. Still interesting, though.

I know I should have referred to my Bible for accurate quotes, so please forgive me if I messed up. :D