Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 22, 2002

Transcript:

"What are you reading?" "This book that decodes things women say." "Look, look, look...When a woman tells you to 'have a good time playing poker with your friends', it means, 'don't you dare leave this house, you jerk'." "And listen to this...When a woman says, 'Sure, I'd like to go to that restaurant', it translates to 'I HATE that restaurant and if you make me go there again, I will giveyou the silent treatment for a month and not tell you why'." "And...oh geez...the question, 'Do you find that woman pretty?' actually means, 'I am just looking for a reason to punch you in the head, so give me one, you dumb fatface!'" "No!" "...Excuse me, but could you please pass the salt?" "AUGGHHHHH!!!" "Is there a problem?" "...'I actually want the pepper, but I am testing your sensitivity to my needs...'"