Close to Home by John McPherson for August 10, 2011
August 09, 2011
August 11, 2011
Transcript:
Man: Aaaahhh! Arcckkkhh... Oooooo!Bbblpppp Aahhh! "Allrighty now... can you tell me what level your pain is at right now?... Mr. Stimson?... We'll, I'll just put down three."
…now please fill out these four questionnaires, these insurance forms, these medical waivers and then sign your name in the 22 places marked with an X, in about 5 hours the doctor should be all ready to see you.
NOTE: This is not a medical facility – it’s the University Admissions Office – and this is what you look like after trying to earn enough money to go there!
That’s corporate medicine, try and train everybody to think like their computers to streamline the bilking process. I tell them it’s too subjective to be quantified on such a scale because I’m an analog human. My worst acid reflux heartburn before going to such a doctor for it felt like a nail stuck in my sternum and the worst pain from a recent work injury felt like an abscess tooth in my finger. Make them do the human to computer conversions.
Actually this is required by regulatory agencies-health care professionals are not allowed to use observational judgement to assess patients pain-they have to give you a rating-another sterling example of idiocy in action
jsab0 over 13 years ago
…now please fill out these four questionnaires, these insurance forms, these medical waivers and then sign your name in the 22 places marked with an X, in about 5 hours the doctor should be all ready to see you.
Hillbillyman over 13 years ago
Pain level? ….Just shoot me!
Elaine Rosco Premium Member over 13 years ago
If this isn’t an emergency you have to call your doctor in the morning….next!
EricAlder over 13 years ago
Welcome to the ObamaCare network.
REDROCKER51 over 13 years ago
MY PAIN LEVEL IS HIGH…BUT I CAN’T FEEL IT…I’M PARALYZED
treBsdrawkcaB over 13 years ago
NOTE: This is not a medical facility – it’s the University Admissions Office – and this is what you look like after trying to earn enough money to go there!
treBsdrawkcaB over 13 years ago
I like how the last pain level “face” is a happy face! “I’m in so much pain, I died YESTERDAY!”
i_am_the_jam over 13 years ago
Don’t laugh, it’s true!
bobpeters61 over 13 years ago
That’s corporate medicine, try and train everybody to think like their computers to streamline the bilking process. I tell them it’s too subjective to be quantified on such a scale because I’m an analog human. My worst acid reflux heartburn before going to such a doctor for it felt like a nail stuck in my sternum and the worst pain from a recent work injury felt like an abscess tooth in my finger. Make them do the human to computer conversions.
Khatkhattu Premium Member over 13 years ago
Actually this is required by regulatory agencies-health care professionals are not allowed to use observational judgement to assess patients pain-they have to give you a rating-another sterling example of idiocy in action