Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 26, 2011
August 19, 2011
September 02, 2011
Transcript:
Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling Forrest Green, Action Ranger Timmy: Ranger Green, I always worry about birds pooping on my head. Ranger Green: Timmy, the next two words I say will make you forget all about that. Ranger Green: Bats menstruate. Comics For The Elderly Elderly Man: What's this? Man: I'm developing a subroutine to export a recordset to Excel. Elderly Man: What?! Here's a want-ad for a milkman! Man: That sounds swell! I'm quitting! Thanks! Elderly Man: People will always need milk! Real Housewives of Chaos Butterfly Woman: Yeah, I'll have the party outside, and that b!&@# CHAOS BUTTERFLY isn't invited. BRAZIL FLAP! One week later - Woman: #&@/* CHAOS BUTTERFLY! The Elm Street Over-Scheduled Gang Criminal: You nosy kids just didn't know when to quit! Boy #1: Oh, it's 3:30! I've got karate at 4! Boy #2: My fencing lesson! Boy #1: Can you drive me to the science enrichment? Boy #2: Fencing is later... Criminal: Is it on the way to karate? M. Night Shyamalan's "Ghost of James Caan" Ghost of James Caan: Are you saying...? Boy: Yes... SURPRISE ENDING! Boy: ...you're actually a ghost! Ghost of James Caan: NOOOOO! DOUBLE SURPRISE!!! James Caan: And I'm James Caan, and I'M NOT DEAD! Ghost of James Caan: NOOOOO! Uncle Cap'n's First Advertisement YOU can give me your money in your SPARE TIME!! Use your free time PRODUCTIVELY by sending me five, ten or even FIFTEEN dollars per hour. Will this take up a lot of time to start up? NO! You can start by sending money in just a few moments! Here are some of the swell things I can buy when you send me money! RISK-FREE TRIAL! Just send me ten dollars. If you are not 100% satisfied, I will KEEP the ten dollars, WITH NO FURTHER OBLIGATION on my part. Send money to: Uncle Cap'n P.O. Box 452A Mariette, Virg. HUSBAND travel frequently on business? Send me your address for a list of other services I can provide in your SPARE TIME!
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ickymungmung over 13 years ago
Prior to today’s strip I had not pondered menstruating bats—now all I can think of is how to market Absorbent Vampire Pads…stay prepared, America!
snugharborman-catalog over 13 years ago
I wanna send some money to Uncle Cap’n so he can buy some of that swell stuff. (Just as I used to do as a dumb little kid seeing those wondrous ads in the comic books.)
fritzoid Premium Member over 13 years ago
“People will always need milk!”
That’s sound philosophy. It might be my new motto.
People will ALWAYS need MILK!
Twowheelrich over 13 years ago
Okay, I don’t get it. Is Chaos Butterfly psychic? Vengeful? Are these traits shared by all butterflies? Is C.B.(Chaos Butterfly) responsible for Irene? Why are they called butterflies, anyway, and not flutter-by’s, which is about all they do, anyway. Seem pretty useless to me. I agree completely with the old codger about milk. Maybe sixty years ago! Jeez. But I digress. I just wanted to say -Uncle Cap’n is my freakin’ HERO, man! Money, dames, guns. Dude got it all.
hugh_jainus over 13 years ago
James Caan??!!! One of the best movies ever made was “Bottlerocket”. James has a smallish part in it but it is a GREAT movie. Stars Owen & Luke Wilson. That one’s a keeper. James is great in it! Google it! You can thank me later!
Donaldo Premium Member over 13 years ago
Comics for the elderly cracked me up
fritzoid Premium Member over 13 years ago
donaldo, there are a number of posters on this site (naming no names) who probably see that as the only SENSIBLE comic Bolling has ever drawn…
jpozenel over 13 years ago
I never see any milkmen in my neighborhood, so there must be a lot of job openings.(I’m thinking about putting in an application.)
jpozenel over 13 years ago
Just sent $29.95 ($28.95 S&H) to me c/o “Uncle Cap’n” (see address above.)
EricAlder over 13 years ago
This one’s super-duper!
mrsullenbeauty over 13 years ago
Do vampire bats drink each other’s (or their own) menstrual blood?