Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 26, 2011

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling Forrest Green, Action Ranger Timmy: Ranger Green, I always worry about birds pooping on my head. Ranger Green: Timmy, the next two words I say will make you forget all about that. Ranger Green: Bats menstruate. Comics For The Elderly Elderly Man: What's this? Man: I'm developing a subroutine to export a recordset to Excel. Elderly Man: What?! Here's a want-ad for a milkman! Man: That sounds swell! I'm quitting! Thanks! Elderly Man: People will always need milk! Real Housewives of Chaos Butterfly Woman: Yeah, I'll have the party outside, and that b!&@# CHAOS BUTTERFLY isn't invited. BRAZIL FLAP! One week later - Woman: #&@/* CHAOS BUTTERFLY! The Elm Street Over-Scheduled Gang Criminal: You nosy kids just didn't know when to quit! Boy #1: Oh, it's 3:30! I've got karate at 4! Boy #2: My fencing lesson! Boy #1: Can you drive me to the science enrichment? Boy #2: Fencing is later... Criminal: Is it on the way to karate? M. Night Shyamalan's "Ghost of James Caan" Ghost of James Caan: Are you saying...? Boy: Yes... SURPRISE ENDING! Boy: ...you're actually a ghost! Ghost of James Caan: NOOOOO! DOUBLE SURPRISE!!! James Caan: And I'm James Caan, and I'M NOT DEAD! Ghost of James Caan: NOOOOO! Uncle Cap'n's First Advertisement YOU can give me your money in your SPARE TIME!! Use your free time PRODUCTIVELY by sending me five, ten or even FIFTEEN dollars per hour. Will this take up a lot of time to start up? NO! You can start by sending money in just a few moments! Here are some of the swell things I can buy when you send me money! RISK-FREE TRIAL! Just send me ten dollars. If you are not 100% satisfied, I will KEEP the ten dollars, WITH NO FURTHER OBLIGATION on my part. Send money to: Uncle Cap'n P.O. Box 452A Mariette, Virg. HUSBAND travel frequently on business? Send me your address for a list of other services I can provide in your SPARE TIME!