“Schweddy Balls” brings to mind my favorite (Arkansas native) Dizzy Dean story.
One Saturday afternoon back in the ’60s I was watching the Major League Baseball Game of the Week with my dad. Ole Dizz and Pee Wee Reese were the announcers.
Between pitches the camera kept panning to a young couple making out in the center field bleachers. Dizzy finally broke the silence. "Pee Wee, I think I got this figured out. He’s kissing her on the strikes, and she’s kissing him on the balls."
The TV screen went black, then the NBC peacock came on, and Ole Dizz was absent from the Game of the Week for awhile.
(sorry for the multiple posts today – I’ve been a non-commenting lurker lately, and I don’t want The Mysterious Teresa to think I don’t love her any more, so I’m catching up today while traveling to WV today)
Re: Schweddy Balls. I picked a handful of energy bars from the basket by my back door where I keep hi protein, low fat, low sugar, no taste, food like substances (that “no taste” part is not entirely true – they taste like cardboard). I just grabbed one. Every single one is a Nature Valley Sweet Salty Nut bar.
Re: OneMillionsMoms. Men know instinctively that angry women are to be avoided at all cost.
Years ago I had a friend (now deceased) who was a traffic court judge. If a DWI suspect agreed to pay the standard DWI fine (c. $500 back then), the charge would be reduced to reckless parking (I think the technically correct name of the citation was “improper parking,” but I like “reckless parking” better).
M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) put a stop to that by lobbying the legislature to prevent DWI plea bargaining (politicians are putty in hands of mad mothers).
Not long after a client came to see me about his DWI, hoping for a dose of my famous “reckless parking” medicine. I explained that M.A.D.D. had put a stop to that. He thought for a minute and said, “We need a group to counter their influence. Want you to incorporate D.A.M.M.”. I asked what that stood for. He said, “Drunks Against Mad Mothers.”
I have decided that the Ross Sisters were from Alpha Centauri. No human being can do things like that with their bodies. And I’d be willing to bet no human male would have lasted more than 5 minutes with one of them up in that hayloft…
Regarding that goblin shark on the blog, Japanese monster expert August Ragone has informed me that the goblin shark was the direct inspiration for Gamera’s nemesis, Zigra:
I heard a very similar story about 40 years ago. A rather inebriated Irishman riding a streetcar had a black gentleman sit down beside him. Scrunching up his nose in disgust, he said, “A nager!” and moved across the aisle to an empty seat. Whereupon the woman in the neighboring seat turned to him, and with the same look and intonation said, “An Irishman!” and moved over to sit next to the African-American.
Knightman Premium Member about 13 years ago
Is that how you got lost at sea and ended up at the Island!
grapfhics about 13 years ago
I wonder what her lips may may say without speaking.
Rotifer HEATHEN POTATO WE KNEW YE WELL Thalweg Premium Member about 13 years ago
“Schweddy Balls” brings to mind my favorite (Arkansas native) Dizzy Dean story.
One Saturday afternoon back in the ’60s I was watching the Major League Baseball Game of the Week with my dad. Ole Dizz and Pee Wee Reese were the announcers.
Between pitches the camera kept panning to a young couple making out in the center field bleachers. Dizzy finally broke the silence. "Pee Wee, I think I got this figured out. He’s kissing her on the strikes, and she’s kissing him on the balls."
The TV screen went black, then the NBC peacock came on, and Ole Dizz was absent from the Game of the Week for awhile.
Rotifer HEATHEN POTATO WE KNEW YE WELL Thalweg Premium Member about 13 years ago
(sorry for the multiple posts today – I’ve been a non-commenting lurker lately, and I don’t want The Mysterious Teresa to think I don’t love her any more, so I’m catching up today while traveling to WV today)
Re: Schweddy Balls. I picked a handful of energy bars from the basket by my back door where I keep hi protein, low fat, low sugar, no taste, food like substances (that “no taste” part is not entirely true – they taste like cardboard). I just grabbed one. Every single one is a Nature Valley Sweet Salty Nut bar.
The Old Wolf about 13 years ago
I can still hear that “Manhandlers” commercial in my head as clear as it had been yesterday.
cleokaya about 13 years ago
I like a woman who says very little, yet gives me the come hither twitch with perfectly coiffed brows.
Rotifer HEATHEN POTATO WE KNEW YE WELL Thalweg Premium Member about 13 years ago
Re: OneMillionsMoms. Men know instinctively that angry women are to be avoided at all cost.
Years ago I had a friend (now deceased) who was a traffic court judge. If a DWI suspect agreed to pay the standard DWI fine (c. $500 back then), the charge would be reduced to reckless parking (I think the technically correct name of the citation was “improper parking,” but I like “reckless parking” better).
M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) put a stop to that by lobbying the legislature to prevent DWI plea bargaining (politicians are putty in hands of mad mothers).
Not long after a client came to see me about his DWI, hoping for a dose of my famous “reckless parking” medicine. I explained that M.A.D.D. had put a stop to that. He thought for a minute and said, “We need a group to counter their influence. Want you to incorporate D.A.M.M.”. I asked what that stood for. He said, “Drunks Against Mad Mothers.”
The Old Wolf about 13 years ago
I have decided that the Ross Sisters were from Alpha Centauri. No human being can do things like that with their bodies. And I’d be willing to bet no human male would have lasted more than 5 minutes with one of them up in that hayloft…
Sisyphos about 13 years ago
Those phoney, fake “eyebrows” tell nothing but lies. Such a women holds no interest. BTW, I don’t much care for the hair, either.
FLIGHT SUIT about 13 years ago
Regarding that goblin shark on the blog, Japanese monster expert August Ragone has informed me that the goblin shark was the direct inspiration for Gamera’s nemesis, Zigra:
http://tinyurl.com/3z4pscy
http://tinyurl.com/43xjha6
songbird44 Premium Member about 13 years ago
Re the airplane story on the blog: I’m not sure whether or not to hope it’s true.
plight about 13 years ago
Fake Food link isn’t working. It should be .com
The Old Wolf about 13 years ago
I heard a very similar story about 40 years ago. A rather inebriated Irishman riding a streetcar had a black gentleman sit down beside him. Scrunching up his nose in disgust, he said, “A nager!” and moved across the aisle to an empty seat. Whereupon the woman in the neighboring seat turned to him, and with the same look and intonation said, “An Irishman!” and moved over to sit next to the African-American.
RonBerg13 Premium Member about 13 years ago
Oh yeah, eyebrows… wink, wink, nudge, nudge, poke, poke, you know what I mean?