Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 09, 2011

Better yet, use accordions.

Just might work Rat. Or you could try bagpipes…

There was an episode of DuckTales where Uncle Scrooge made the Beagle Boys surrender by playing the bagpipes.

Weapon? No.Torture device? Yes.

KillacowinWA: So? Guns have good and evil uses . . :)

Aww, comon! An occasional banjo diddy brightens up any day. Never have heard anything done on bagpipes that didn’t make my skin crawl, though.

I am Rat ♪ — I’ll hunt you down,

With the instruments ♫ ♪ of doom

No use gettin’ outta ♫ town

No use hidin’ ♪ in your ♫ room..

My accordion ♫ ♪ is loud

And my bagpipe even ♫ worse

I can knock out any ♪ crowd

With my ♪ awful rhyming verse

I play banjos ♫ in the grass ♪

I play bagpipes by the ♫ sea

If you wanna ♪ save your ass

Just surrender ♫♪ now to me.

Yeah, ♪ just surrender now to meeeee..♪ ♫..

Bagpipes are ever so much preferable to banjos! Banjos have a place only in good blue grass bands, and too many of them aren’t. Since Rat is so self-confident, let’s send him to Afghanistan as a private special ops contractor!

And bagpipes are amazing. Especially when played so as to echo off the hills. Or in the case of one busker I heard, the skyscrapers of the SF Financial District. Bliss.

After I learn to play guitar, I’m going to learn banjo.I’ll be playing all of the soon to be banjo classics.“Stairway to Heaven”“Take it Easy”“Crazy on You”“Highway to Hell”and the theme from “Gilligan’s Island”.

Then there was the terrorist who kidnapped a busload of banjo players. He threatened to release them if his demands weren’t met.

Just one word on the Banjo as a weapon “DELIVERANCE”!

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=beethoven+banjo&mid=76BC23B335E39556F85B76BC23B335E39556F85B&view=detail&FORM=VIRE2

Now we will know whom to thank for all those Banjos of Mass Destruction.

Wouldn’t that be Afghanistanjy?

Q: What’s perfect pitch?A: When you get the banjo in the dumpster without hitting the sides.

The use of banjos in warfare was outlawd by the Geneva Convention many years ago.

NO!

Weapon? No.Torture device? Yes.

You can’t tie down a banjo man.

Any musical instrument played badly can be used as an instrument of torture. Including the human voice.

Time to open a department of “musical catastrophes”

NOT FUNNY. Banjos are amazing, and it takes great skill to play one effectively. What’s your problem? Brain addled by too much Guitar Hero?

1. Bagpipes were already considered close enough to weapons of war (or culture?) that the English suppressed them in the 1700s after the Highland Revolt of Bonnie Prince Charlie.2. I agree with packratjohn: the use of any of these instruments of mass torture violates the Geneva Conventions on civilized warfare.

Run!Steve Martin just won Best Bluegrass Album of the year for his banjo work. And he has Happy Feet! Excuuuuuse Me!!

There is actually a case where a man killed his wife with two banjos: http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1991-05-23/news/1991143074_1_benson-banjo-miami-county

Just walk away, Goat. Walk away. Rat’s crazy.

The 3rd panel by itself could be on a T-shirt.

If we really want to torture the Talibanji, just send Yoko Ono (Yucko oh-no) over to serenade (screech like Siamese cats in heat) them.

Well they used Die Valkirie in Viet Nam, and also on Noriega…banjo music might create more suicide bombers.

Oh… God.

LOL xxx

I OBJECT! Banjos are the best instrument, without a doubt in my mind.

Also…Bil Keane has died. RIP, Bill. You’ll be missed.

Enough with banjos… Let’s go with recorders!!! (Don’t let your mind’s go to those places, no, no… bad, very bad…).

Sorry rat, but I don’t think that the Taliban will fall for it. You’ll need something worse sounding… how about Justin Bieber??? Or Rebecca Black. Or even them together!!!

Aw, MadVirgo — thanks again.

Yeah, I write so much doggerel on this site that now, as you can see, people just roll their eyes and ignore it…..

“That? Oh, that’s just …..Susan.”

Just like in real life….. sigh…..

And Monkey — yes! Yes!

I’ve admired your songs too, but I tell you too late for you to see, I guess.

(And I just made an inadvertent rhyme, I confess. Aaaagh….)

I can’t write a tune to save my life.

That is, I THINK I can make one up, but I can’t write it down, sing it properly, or even tell whether it’s completely original.

Rhymes, I can do.Lyrics, I can do.Much better and more complicated ones than that one for Rat —

but I guess for now you’ll have to take my word for it. LOL

Has any one else noticed that Rat in the last frame looks like Pastis? Does he do that deliberately?

Thanks No 6

what a hillbilly

I came to bluegrass late in life, and the banjo gave me a big welcome. It’s really fine, and opens up grandly in skilled hands.

haha there are 69 comments

I heard Justin Bieber has a deadly weapon.

or you can use the banjo to smash it on someones head, rat.

Goat seems to “give up” quite often nowadays

6oth comment

lol

what is a “Talibanjy” rat and also airhorns are more of a menace to society

Anything in Rat’s hands is a weapon.