Heart of the City by Steenz for March 07, 2012

It’s very common for people who are not knowledgable about science-fiction to think that “Star Trek” and “Star Wars” are similar— the truth is that they are very dissimilar; you might say they are literally and figuratively, “in different galaxies!”

Dean, why are you hanging around her when she doesn’t know that? And Heart, really, there are other negative reinforcement techniques that won’t ruin your summer game sets.

Come now, it’s just a phase. Dean will grow out of it. I was once a rabid SW and ST fan, and I grew out of it. Well … someday.

oooh!!!…what she said…

Time to hire some mercenary Naussicans to teach her the difference. . .

Load her toy box with Tribbles

“Star Trek,” “Star Wars,” “Star 80,” “Dancing With the Stars,” seen one you’ve seen ’em all.

At least Trekkie’s know that there movies won’t be rehashed.

ANYONE who refers to the Kobayashi Maru should be smacked with a badminton racket.

Same thing, HARDLY! Geez, some people don’t know anything! :-D

“I think the whole point of the Star Wars bashing in this sttrip is to make fun of people like you sir.”

Oh, I disagree. I think the whole point is to make fun of people like Dean, who realize that Episodes I-III are awful but can’t help watching them (and buying every new version). Do you believe that Mark Tatulli thinks the prequels are, in fact, “good” movies?

Someone lend Dean a “Firefly” DVD, QUICK!

Will you knock it off Heart?!

“Except for the second movie. Heffalumps frolicking in the fields are an automatic “ugh.” Heffalumps. Seriously??”

I have to admit that, after the profound disappointment that was “Phantom Menace”, I never bothered with “Attack of the Clones” (I saw “Revenge of the Sith” for curiosity’s sake, just so I’d know how it ends). So as far as I know, the frolicking Heffalumps are essential to the Lucas’s vision, and my shameful ignorance of their integral role is responsible for my misguided opinion of the whole. You’ve convinced me. When “Clones” comes out in 3-D, I’ll be first in line to throw my good money after the bad.

Naaaaahhhhhh….

In other “Star Wars” news, Ralph McQuarrie has died. His production and design paintings for the first movies were wonderful indeed. R.I.P.

Finally, in today’s “Sally Forth”, it’s revealed that Ted set up a Facebook fan page for Wedge Antilles. “Hey, he survived all three good movies. Not even Yoda did that.”

“In fact the touching seen where one Ewok mourns a fallen comrade always grabs people with sympathy, not the feeling of ’Oh good they killed some of those annoying Teddy bears.’”

I assure you, some people have the latter reaction rather than the former. The death of those annoying Teddy bears would have played better if the LIVE Teddy bears weren’t quite so annoying. Again, how would the slapstick moments played if it were Wookies instead of ewoks? It’s not that the ewoks are physically cute; the idea that something cute can also be formidable is a good one. But it puts you on risky ground; when you start having them trip over their own feet and getting tangled in their own bolos, it passes from “cute” to “cutesy”; as I also said yesterday, ewoks are dangerously close to being Smurfs.

Look, realistically I know that nobody other than George Lucas has a say in how the “Star Wars” films were made, or are being remade. My suggestions otherwise were intended as hyperbole. But everybody needs an editor from time to time. Lucas having made the prequels the way he did, no GOOD prequels can now be made, but I can safely ignore them without diminishing my enjoyment of “Star Wars” and “Empire Strikes Back.” But since Lucas made “Return of the Jedi” the way he did, though, it also means that no GOOD ending to the first trilogy can be made, and that’s a damned shame.

My final words on the matter are…HAN SHOOTS FIRST!

Heart must always have that face and make that pose when striking Dean with the racket.