Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 13, 2012

Having a stone-cold-hard glooty is nothing to be ashamed of. Although I’m not sure crocs have glooties.

This reminds me of the time as a seventeen year old when my after school boss had me pick up Pampers for his kids. I was soooooo embarrassed. Now I pick up feminine hygiene product for my wife without so much as a wimper. I guess you just grow calloused.

I’m now reasonably certain Mr. Pastis has Gemini prominently aspected. . ..

John Wayne brand toilet paper. Its rough n’ tough and doesn’t take $%*# from anyone.

Ultimate humiliation for poor Bob. Good thing he at least is protected by a paper bag over his head; else, he’d die of mortification (Bobs are prone to dying, you know).

Thanks, Steph, for 2 things:1. Making me pee my pants from laughing so hard.And2. New names to call my bratty little bro…

These guys will never catch a break, let alone zebra.

When I was a kid…. you know, when dinosaurs roamed the earth… some packages of toilet paper and almost ALL feminine hygiene products except for a few left out as displays were pre-wrapped in thin brown paper, so that the delicate-natured wouldn’t have to let anyone, especially curious children, see them carrying such things to the counter.

As IF everyone didn’t know what was in that brown paper package. LOL. It only served to make children more curious.

And products used in the prevention of more children, such as fathers and sailors bought, were not only wrapped but had to be asked for at the pharmacy counter.

From mysterious brown packages to rainbow displays in the suoermarket …. we’ve come a long way!

@SusanSunshine

It used to be where condoms were behind the pharmacist’s counter and razor blades hung on pegs in the aisle of the drugstore. Now packages of condoms hang on pegs in the aisles, and one must ask the pharmacist for razor blades.

Funny how times change!

No need for embarrassment… At my age, I use neither. After three kids between 1967 and 1970 I called it quits. And wearing a beard since 1970 has saved me a fortune in blades. But then I spent it all on child support instead. (I couldn’t afford razor blades any more!)

Exactly who was Pastis listening to when he did this series and what was the actual skit. I know a lot of comedians have done the feminine hygine products the husband/father is sent out to get which embarasses the ****** out of them in the store. And I’ve heard one or two talk about going out to pic up hemerroid treatment only to get so embarassed they pick up about fifteen other things so as to not look like it’s for them. Only to then have the clerk at the register make an announcement of “Register 13 needs a price check on hemerroid cream.”

NOTE to Self - don’t come back to read comments when it involves personal products ;-)

The whole story line is hilarious but that one today is an instant classic. Thanks Steph for that one. I just can’t stop laughing. Mister Hard-Butt, Captain Stone Cheeks….poor Bob. LOL

Years ago on board a Navy ship I asked the Chief in the carpenter’s shop for sandpaper. He replied that it was kept on rolls in the head.

Great strip this week.

Tissue, I miss you. I have but a cobb for the job.

I’ve been reading this strip for sometime now and have always thought it to be funny.

Me change mind, Bob. We hit zeeba on head wid Turnip Twaddler. Ask store to find for you.

yes….but this is about toilet paper…..everybody in the civilized world uses toilet paper…..and, if you did not sit down on a regular basis and rid yourself of natural excrement from the digestive process, you will, plain and simple, DIE

this is one of the best in recent memory—thanks for the morning laughs!

Pastis & Evans (Luann) are in cahoots. Is this National Bathroom week?

I hereby confer the Cathy Guisewite Award on Mr. Pastis for continually having the most words in a comic strip.

The crocs have just reached a whole new level of stupidity

and what if zeeba is still wearing rat s armor?

Usually a hose and water, cleaning their posterior with the left hand, before washing their hands. The reason we shake hands with the right hand is because of iron age superstitions that the left hand is “unclean” or “unholy”. It probably didn’t hurt that most people were (and still are) right handed, and they didn’t have indoor plumbing or TP, so one hand got used for the bathroom business, while the other was for eating/greeting.

There’s actually a brand sold locally, 6 rolls for a dollar…a single guy, I save twenty bucks a month just on TP! I can’t imagine how soft and incapable our country has become at bottom…marketing: the creating of new desires and products to scratch(!) that manufactured, artificial itch.

I can hardly wait until the Colombian-favored candidate wins the ‘16 prez election…and no, your bought-and-paid-for DOJ hasn’t a CLUE who he is yet.

They are too busy giving free passes to Goldman thieves and prosecuting book publishers, who are, we know, the most dangerous people…next to guys like Pastis.

I used to work at a retail store and a young couple tried to steal condoms – talk about embarrassing when they were caught.

All this talk is reminding me of a novelty song where someone sings, “I want to kiss her, but… she won’t let me.” (Say it aloud and you’ll get it.)

This reminds me of the first time I donated blood.. I had to drink a large cup of water beforehand and after my donation I badly needed the loo and one of the nurses must of thought I was going to faint and so she shouted.

‘TOILET!’ and she was pointing at me at the time. Everyone was staring.

LOL.

So I know how poor Croc feels in a way.

xxx

The strip and the comments on it are equally funny!

Stephen has just found another quirk in America.

Ah, it was to laugh! Such verisimilitude – reminds me of trying to buy something discreetly in a drugstore. If you’re female, you draw a clerk who’s a stentorian-voiced crew-cut drill sergeant guy; if you’re male, you draw an Ethel Merman stand in. In the last two panels, love the way the clerk uses the mike.

try the stuff in Germany circa 1974. Had woodchips in it. You don’t want sphincter-splinter.

I’m glad real sales people don’t make fun of customers!

“And you know what everyone in the UNcivilized world uses? There’s a reason why we shake hands with the right hand.”

+++++

Not to mention why cutting of a thief’s hand is such a harsh punishment. Eat, shake hands, and personal hygiene all with the same hand . . . not pretty.

This is the greatest comic strip around, but when the Crocs are feratured, OMG!!!!!!!!!!

snort Captain Stone Cheeks. Glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that one!

Snert..Paging Captain Stone…

Hang on, I’m confused…….if he was getting toilet paper, why didn’t he buy something like steak knifes, or whatever?

You want hard toilet paper? try Greg Heffley’s.