Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 24, 2012

Gaurd duck, you are the reason mail is going away.

he also has marshmallows if you want

Better not burn it. Those Netflix movies would melt all over the place.

On another note, why did the mailman know what Pig’s mail was?

Is it a federal offense to partially cremate a postal worker?

Getting junk mail lets me know I’m still alive.

Hey, Pig. How about sending Guard Duck to my house. I get the same junk almost daily.

flame mail

Junkmail = spam that you can use to line your birdcage.

I gotta get a guard duck!

Well, that’s one way to deal with junk mail.

@briatollahBeing alive is not a requirement. My late wife – who passed in 2004 – STILL gets junk mail, despite repeated pleas to stop, which are fruitless. Once your name and address are in someone’s database, they’re there permanently. Death offers no relief from junk mail..Trouble is… seeing my beloved’s name on incoming mail, junk mail or not, stirs the feelings of grief and tends to rekindle the old flames and make me long for her presence even more. .And when you remarry, as I have, having mail delivered for the new wife’s predecessor tends to put her on edge too.

Pig is conspiring with Li’l Guard Duck to incinerate junk mail! Too bad Mailman Mike was too close to the targeted Ground Zero. I think he got little more than the equivalent of a sunburn, though; the actual worrisome thing is that destroyed sack o’ mail he was going to be delivering further down the block….

lol

I can’t belive that Guard Duck actually apologized to the mailman. That’s totally against his demeanor

Guard Duck just went postal on the postal worker.

As a business owner that uses bulk mail services, i can tell u that the postal service deserves to be in the mess theyre in. They treat us like garbage and always try to make things more difficult for us. They need to respect the lifeblood of their business a bit more.

Dat bad break, Mailman Mike.

“Mailman Mike”…where does he live, Sesame Street?

JD,define alive…jk,I like mail,gonna miss Sat’s

Still mourning the loss of the Pony Express!So needed, today more than ever.

Mother’s been dead a dozen years. I get with credit cards in them still. If the credit card dompany doesn’t know she’s dead from her credit history, it would explain a whole lot about our economy.

I’d rather have junk mail this way than via email.

A good idea and it does help the PO. I do similar but don’t write on what I send back. And for, goodness sake, – don’t put your return address on the envelope!!! . . ☻

Like . ☺

My mom is a rural mail carrier and she said the only thing that keeps her busy is the junk mail, phone books that go out once a year and catalogs for farmers and widows.

Moose – when we lived in another house with another phone number, I would get collection notices and phone calls for my husbands exwife. Always a good time to give out her current address and phone number. Then about a month later, she would move again.

Poor Mike!

The third panel looks Cool… Or Hot. Whatever works.

xxx

All hail LGD! Thrower of flame! They shoulda put him in The Avengers movie.

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Kramer tried to opt out of receiving mail and ended up bricking up his mail slot?

Some one is going to call Homeland Security on Guard Duck if he is not more careful

I think we have several things in common. My name also is ‘Doug’ whereas you are nobility ‘Duke Doug’ and I am but a serf.The other thing is that I too have been tempted to send a change of address showing her at ‘A119, Bagdad Cemetery’.

now he looks like larry the cable guy