Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for June 23, 2012

Did they use Monkey’s company for that job ?

Good fences make for good neighbors…The Carlisles are not pleased. They’ve been wary of Ted & Sandy’s choice of contractors ever since the Incident

I come from the land of hanging chads. A simple X on the ballot next to Monkey’s name(s) should be sufficient. As they say in Chicago, Vote early and Vote often.

The election Officials will be watching closely.

As Susan knows careful accounting of the ballots is important.

Regarding Ted and Sandy’s fence…There will be no fence sitting in the Sheriff election.

Oh wow, guys… sorry I’m late….I missed the early bus….stayed up SO late working on campaign ideas.Yes, X, you’re right… we need to count every ballot…some multiple times … no that sounds wrong!

BTW don’t you have a fence company?Hmmm…. all this reminds me…. one time at the Renaissance Faire I watched what was supposed to be a demonstration of fencing…. but they didn’t make anything useful at all!Afterward I walked up and asked them (true story!) how simply waving metal things around was going to keep the pigs from running away.For some reason they just stared at me. Strange people, those Renn Faire folks.

Any way….I stayed up really late working on election stuff….and I have an announcement….Now, I’d never want to criticise the Monkey or his campaign workers…..cos for one thing, I AM one…but I think having our headquarters in a bar … even the beautiful Tiki Bar….is not conducive to keeping ourselves OR the Monkey out of trouble.Well, I was talking to Mrs. Newmeyer, who I’m sure most of you know owns and operates the Ballard St. Bakery, right next door to my salon….oh…. Bev…. that reminds me….. Tuesday at 2pm??? …10 pounds of special glitter arriving by then…..but I digress….anyway, the bakery isn’t open very many hours…..Mrs. Newmeyer being 92 and all…and she is VERY excited about the possibility of a monkey as sheriff….Turns out her favorite uncle was a monkey…you see, when her Aunt Sylvia went to Zanzibar back in the 19…oh sorry….. Anyway she said we were welcome to use the bakery for a campaign headquarters, as she’ll be baking even less in July and August.All she asks is that we clean up after ourselves, and pay for anything of hers we eat or use.We’re welcome to bring our own treats if we’d rather…. and we can use the bakery kitchen to make food for fundraisers!I have some great ideas, too!While I was there her nephew the sign-painter stopped by, and I had to make an instant decision….hope you all approve:

So now that we have a commercial kitchen…. how about making these for the Ballard Street 4th of July Food, Fun and Fireworks Fair?

…. Yawn….gotta get some sleeep….…. first a couple of things from yesterday….

Very glad you guys liked my campaign song….as for the “arrangement”….. as long as you know it’s sung to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club Song, you can’t go far wrong.Don’t forget the Monkey is a musician too…. though he might fell embarrassed working on his own song….you shouldn’t, Monkey….that’s what politics is all about!anyway, it’s such a simple song…. even kids can sing it…. let’s make sure there are copies of the lyrics for everybody!Meanwhile I was glad you guys figured out what the Carlisles were up to yesterday….good job No. 2…. especially after I thought you had retired…

Oh…. and there you are no. 2!

I forgot…. I want to order a couple of cases of this to serve alongside the dogs….

I told you I’d been buszzzzzzzzzzzzzzkpfh… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *pf zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh Suzy yew did it agin…!!! Ah luv hot doggys… Speshuly with ketchup…!!! Mmmmmm!! An usin a baykery fer hedkwarterz is gu idea!!!!

Kin we make sum snicker dudals to???

Yep… Suzy’s rite… ah gots a blooze band, an ah plays lottsa gud rockin bluz that peeple can danse to… Ah needs ta get with RedCase an sea if ah can due sum recordin in his new stoodeo… Ah gots lottsa geetars an Mah band plays lottsa rogue house blooze….!!! “Cuz ahm a Hoochie Coochie Mayan…Ever buddy nose ah ahm..!!!”

that wuz sum Muddy Waterz stuff rite their… Uh faverit…

Hay!! Da baykery at AS is gots “Duks in a Roll”,Meybe we can due “Gooses in ah Bun”… an sellem fer 50 cense eech…!!!!!

Ted and Sandy have the worst luck hiring those out-of-town “contractors”…the ones who just happen to be driving by and stop to offer really cheap deals.

“The new Campaign Headquarters really takes the cake! It was definitely not some half-baked idea. It’s a great location and gives the Monkey an odor of respectability ( bakery smells triumph over bar smells any day. )Can’t wait until we roll out the fundraisers from there. We should make lots of dough. "+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Five bakery puns in one comment??? You have really risen to occasion, sir! You make it look as easy as pie! And, the new campaign headquarters? Well, it’s the best thing since sliced bread!

Bake sale, anyone?

The more things “change”, the more they stay the same. You can’t Monkey with success. :)

x_Tech — Wow!!!

Maybe the best cupcakes EVER!!

Linguist - you’re on a roll there…. not one of those was crummy. Hmmm…. guess I’d batter think of s’more, or you’ll think I’m too flaky.But I right now, have to choux myself out of here… it’s a pain… but I’ll think about it, so when I get back I’ll have a heads tart.

Monkey! If you bring that muddy person to Mrs. Newmeyer’s nice clean bakery….You just better be sure he has a bath first! In water!Stel!!! How did you find that picture….. That’s actually Mrs. Newmeyer’s aunt’s in-laws, she says… she was delighted to see the photo!Her aunt wasn’t a monkey herself…but of course now that whole branch of Mrs. Newmeyer’s family tree is a bit simian.I’ve met her cousin Zelda, and she looks human…. but she sure loves bananas!

@SusanSunshine

My apologies! I went back to the Ballard County Historical Society and looked at it again. That’s what someone had written on the back and, upon closer inspection, I did notice a faded question mark, as well. So, whoever wrote it wasn’t sure.Please explain to Mrs. Newmeyer what happened and assure her that it has been corrected. Thanks!

Perhaps they were going for a very rustic look

I think I’ve found the problem.Munkey’s been confusing Ballard Street with Ballard Ave.

Not that I blame him mind you. But a couple of those Thaiku: Yohimbe-infused libations could well explain the condition his condition is in.

Donations are flowing in here at the new campaign HQ. But they’re not adding up as fast as we’d like.

Rats! Stupid barricades.Have to get off the bus 3 blocks away and walk around the sawhorses just to get in on a Sunday!When will they ever allow through traffic 7 days a week?

I HATE THESE SIGNS!!

Anyhow, I’m exhausted….Gotta get to the salon and go to sleep.Dividing my time wears me out!

Conversation, campaign planning, hair appointments, even e-mail….. I’ll get to it all tomorrow.Stop by for coffee, anybody, when the kitchen light is on again…. which probably won’t be much before noon, I’d say.

But there’ll be plenty of coffee, tea, banana bread and chocolate chip cookies.

Is anybody turning this into a book?

“The Mallard Who Lived on Ballard”

“The Mallard Who Loved on Ballard”

“The Ballad of Ballard’s Mallards”(I know, I know….we haven’t featured mallards yet. I don’t know how we missed it!)

or, for the stage…“The Ballard Ballad Ballet for Mallards”

Stel…. do you think along with the hot dogs we need Ballard potato salaяd?

Bev— we’re only thinking about selling food in the bakery and at events during the campaign…not sure we need a monkey-themed restaurant all year.Any thoughts?Meanwhile….hard to fit everything on one sign….probably need another, too….

Stel… sorry had to shorten to Stellybellies…but they’ll be in a cute cello bag with a Monkey on it, so it will be obvious what they are….is that OK?I’m thinking banana and peanut flavors…. what else?

@beviek

BTW, I really enjoyed the Flip Wilson “Church of What’s Happenin’ Now” video. And can you believe Joan Rivers at the end? That was a few yrs. ago!!And, do you think we need extra security at the Ballard Resevoir? Do you think someone might get the idea to put some of that yoyumby haiku stuff in the water??? You know, like in the songs you sent us?

@SusanSunshine

“Stel… sorry had to shorten to Stellybellies…but they’ll be in a cute cello bag with a Monkey on it, so it will be obvious what they are….is that OK?I’m thinking banana and peanut flavors…. what else?”++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++No problem! That sounds good! I’m thinking pineapple, papaya, mango, oh…..I guess all the tropical fruits….oh, I know! COCONUT!!! Yes! coconut would be great, don’t you think?

Well, it’s time for me to close up all the shops. Whatever the two of you decide is fine by me. I do like the idea of a book somewhere down the road…See you both tomorrow! Good night!

Oooh Suzi..!! Banana an peenut fayverd Stelibellyz is soundin yumilishus…. !!!All y’all tawkin bout all this gud fud gonna make me moor hungry… Makin it hard ta keep cuntrol o my “gorilish figure”..!!

Zzzxxxxxx…… Zzzxxxxxx…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is as good as that F Minus comic where the waiter was putting salad straight on the table and then going “oh yeah, I forgot the plates!”

The best part is that Ted and Sandy are the neighbors on either side of this dividing “line.”

Good morning Balladeers, (((((Plods))))) and Miss Susan!

Next time? They need one now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjdRgBAY278

Gotta love a good 60s westerns @ cleoandcompany.net

Good morning Stel-Bel art fans!

Pink got her own day? Kewl.

Y’all have a great day. (((((HuGz!)))))

Hi Plods!