B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for July 13, 2012

Or at least “All things considered.”

Or just a simple “Yes.” Men can be totally stupid sometimes (and I should know — I AM one!)

She bulges up in the second panel

If you’re going to ask an obnoxious question, you should expect an obnoxious answer.

If he had said that, there would be a smoking crater where he once stood after she pounded him into the ground like a tent stake.

A closed mouth gathereth no foot.

The funniest joke in the world involved comments from a bystander about a baby on a bus.

I think that’s the crow pose in yoga.

The Crow is more overtly concupiscent. Usually needs some supporting practitioners.

Yeah but I don’t think his foot can bend in that direction.

It can NOW.

How about a omelet… You already have the egg on your face.

And he may not make it until tomorrow if he keeps it up.

i’d have stuck with "absolutely, gorgeous!’

How about, “You’re in pretty good shape for the shape you’re in.”?

A boy was told to never say anything bad about anyone.So, at a dance, he said to the lady: “Gee, you don’t sweat much for a fat girl!”

Or another time, his mother told him to go nex door and see how old Mrs. Johnson was.“She says ‘none of your business how old I am!’”

@Rockngolfer..was that the Flip Wilson joke about

a banana for your monkey?

In the USA:Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”3

SWULP! I never heard that word before. Does that mean to take a person’s foot and stick it in their mouths?

:p