For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for November 21, 2012

I don’t like that look on Michael’s face; he’s thinking his mother has gone nuts

… but she may be right. It worked for me.

Elly might have somethinghere. Brad probably isn’t used to someone being nice to him.

A soft answer turneth away wrath.Yeah, right …On the other hand, standing up to bullies only works when you’re bigger than them.

In Junior High, there was a girl who was constantly picking on me, beating me up, etc. One time, after an altercation, we were called into the principal’s office. I got there first. The principal asked me what the issue was. I said, “I don’t know. One thing I know about V is that, I’ve seen her with her friends; she’s a good friend, but a bad enemy.” When V got there, the principal made me repeat that. After school V gave me the worst thrashing of my life. Soon after, she disappeared. Years & years later, I was at work at a store when she came in, headed right to me (I had a moment of panic), and hugged me. It turned out that she had to spend a long time in a psychiatric hospital. A number of times she contemplated suicide, but it was MY words – that I said that she was capable of being a good friend – that she held on to & got her through.

The problem with turning the other cheek is that you only have two cheeks. Neville Chamberlain comes to mind on this plotline.

Some places have a youth officer on the police force. Might be worth a try.

Being nice to a bully just makes them think that you’re weak, capitulating to them, and that they have won. You are REWARDING them for their bad behavior.

There was a story from years ago, (not me!) but a boy in a church was being ‘bullied’. He spoke to his youth pastor, but nothing was done. He spoke to his dad, who was the Senior Pastor. His dad sat him down and said “You can fight him, but that would not only disappoint me, but God as well. OR, you can do what I did when I was your age – give him a candy.” On Sunday, the boy took two candies, and when the bully started in on him, the kid offered the candy to the bully. This went on for 3 or 4 weeks, before the bully stopped the kid in the hall and said “look, what gives?! Why, when I want to hurt you, do you give me candy? Why would you treat me this way?” The little boy answered “you get more flies with honey, then vinegar.” From that point on, the two became inseparable, and best of friends. .Moral? Kill your enemies with kindness, love, and happiness, and they’ll become friends.

I’d just like to know what kind of parent knows that their child is being beaten up and doesn’t immediately take matters into their own hands. Be nice to him? Okay Elly, but how about you and John 1) Call the school and 2) Pay a little visit to the bully’s parents and advise them it’s time they taught their son how to behave.

Standing up to bullies is the last thing they expect – hit first and as hard as you can. a few things can happen1. he decides you can hurt him and he just leaves(maybe calling you a weak fighter, but not really wanting any more.2. you still get you butt kicked, but have the respect of your peers, so it won’t happen again.3. This always changes what people think of you and you might make a new friend. better than having him for an enemy.

getting beat up happens to kids – just make sure they don’t want to do it again.

huh

Good idea!

It may not work every time, but it’s certainly worth a try. I’ve tried it and at the worst, it just confuses them and they don’t know what to do. p.s. Bring kind yet strong, is much different than rolling over and letting them beat up on you.

Hey… no fair going Biblical on him! ;-)

“You can get further with a kind word….and a .45, than with a kind word.” (Al Capone) “Speak softly, but carry a big stick.” (Teddy Roosevelt)

My method of dealing with bullies was to take up martial arts. But rather than going Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris on them, I used my new skills to immobilize the bullies. Once they were down I spoke to them in a hard tone of voice and told them that I could easily destroy them, but that this was their last warning. Nearly every one left me alone after that. The only one who didn’t got a broken nose for his trouble, and then stayed away.

Never try to placate bullies.

This might work but he needs to be careful

I had that problem with the bully’s parents but that year they had cameras in the school. That helped my Mother sue the school, and she won!

An intelligent reply!