Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for September 10, 2012

Plus unicorns don’t have those damned flashing red lights.

Unicorns are better than the Los Angeles Metro…even if she does talk back too much…

Anybody who thinks that Unicorns are better than school buses has never been caught behind one on the way to work.They stop to admire themselves in every reflective storefront along the way.Okay, I’ll admit that RIDING a Unicorn is better than riding in a school bus, but when trying to share the road with one…

But Nebulous, you don’t have to share the road with the Unicorn – when it pulls over to admire Him or Herself in the windows you carefully go around and go on your way.

Briatollah is right – You try that with a School Bus with it’s red lights flashing, and it’s a HUGE moving violation ticket. One that makes judges laugh when you ask them to dismiss it.

Does the Shield of Boringness protect against sleet?

The school bus has no personality and no ego. The bus pollutes the earth, the unicorn fertilizes the earth.

School buses need bus drivers. Unicorns do not. So school buses create jobs! Vote for school buses in 2012!

What, no speed comparison?

Phoebe must live in the south, if she lived in the north she might find the freezing winds and snow in the winter time a mite uncomfortable on top of a unicorn.

Not quite.

Well you can’t stick your used gum under a unicorn. Also you share a bus with other people. This can be good or bad depending on if those other people want to sing songs or physically harm the other riders. There is also the question of if the driver is fun or not. Also buses have those hump things in the center to rest your feet on. They stop traffic and forbid passing, they have a large rear window for waving at people with and they keep you safe from the weather Buses have seat belts but back in my day, not always Unicorns have no seat belts and no weather protection…unless theres magic for that, they are magical and soft. You can have a conversation with them but topics may vary. They get better gas millage but there bad on Grass mileage. What I don’t know is the top speed of Unicorns vs Buses Also if you wave from a unicorn people probably would be too Bord to wave back. But at least you don’t have other people to deal with.If its a public bus you also have to pay pay. Unicorns you have to have hay.

and on subways some times its standing room only and you have to hold on to a poll. Unicorns you may not want to grab there horns. If you go by car you have the AC and the radio/CD player and the GPS.I don’t know how unicorns are with singing and directions.Buses have CB radios Unicorns don’t answer to any one. You can recline in a car seat. You can’t nap on a Unicorn.Unicorns are better then bikes in all ways.Unicorns don’t have luggage racks.Trains stay on tracks, unicorns have one track mindsYou can’t have food served on a unicornUnicorns are more affordable then Trains.Unicorns are always on time, unless they get trapped in there reflection. Unicorns don;‘t need adults to drive them. You can go any where place any time. You can even have them in the house.I don’t know how a Pegasus is against an air plain but I bet they take off on time and don’t make you go threw security. And I don’t know how a sea serpent is against a boat or if Unicorns are even good on open oceans vus magical water animals would not be needed but I think boats have a lot of advantages.

now Unicorn vs Segway …well at least segways don’t have shields…so they always look cool.

“The wheels on the unicorn go…. Uhm….”

Well, there are SOME advantages!