Cul de Sac by Richard Thompson for November 12, 2010
Transcript:
Petey: I have to check my global picky eater rating online. With all these holidays, I have to be extra careful with my diet. The Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas season is a minefield. It's so easy to slip up! Just before Christmas last year, the world's number-one ranked picky eater dropped to number 3, 435! Overnight! For one little misstep! It was a scandal! He was discovered in the same room as a fruitcake! Alice: Boy, I know what that's like.
Sisyphos about 14 years ago
So, Alice! You’ve been seen in the same room with a fruitcake? And does this “fruitcake” have a name?!
Hillbillyman about 14 years ago
Big brother perhaps?
GROG Premium Member about 14 years ago
I haven’t been in the same room as a fruitcake for years. I guess my picky eater rating is safe now.
kjs9 about 14 years ago
Hahahahaha, Alice! Sarcasm becomes you!
Tancread Premium Member about 14 years ago
I love that the internet allows all sorts of groups to get together and organize. I wonder what sort of drama and crisis occur on the Picky Eaters message boards.
cdward about 14 years ago
Oh Alice!
tmt about 14 years ago
Go, Alice, go! Funny stuff!
pibfan868 about 14 years ago
First good laugh of the day! Way to go, Richard!
twj0729 about 14 years ago
What’s wrong with fruit cake? I always enjoyed fruit cake. What am I missing?
cleokaya about 14 years ago
A fruitcake and a little general in the same family. That sounds like my family.
Mythreesons about 14 years ago
A good fruitcake is heaven on earth. A bad fruitcake is just the opposite. Pay up and try a great one. Hint: Don’t even try to make one. It takes forever.
lakita_lover about 14 years ago
Oh, Alice, I love it when you’re sassy.
habamom about 14 years ago
twypsi, “fruitcake” is also slang for someone who is crazy or eccentric.
fritzoid Premium Member about 14 years ago
^ But it’s a boon to those of us who love gorging on big dead birds. Yum! It’s good to be at the top of the food chain.
(Actually, I’d be happier if the Pilgrims had invited the Indians to a big ol’ chicken fry, all those years ago. Turkey once a year is pretty much my limit.)
MisngNOLA about 14 years ago
fritz, brought you’self down to Sout’ Loosyana on Turkey Day and got you some munch on a good ole Cajun-style deep fried turkey, or a turducken. You’ll definitely want turkey more than once a year, I gar-on-tee.
kfaatz925 about 14 years ago
MisngNOLA - that sounds amazing!
Global Picky Eater Rating… hmm… G-PERs, creepers… (sorry, just my little joke)
pschearer Premium Member about 14 years ago
And the holiday season officially begins with the first of the fruitcake jokes.
Memberships are available in the Fruitcake Anti-Defamation League. Just send $50 to me, FADL’s Founder and President. I’ll even print you up a card or something.
fritzoid Premium Member about 14 years ago
Every year my sister sends the word out to all her friends and family - “If you get stuck with a fruitcake you don’t want, SEND IT TO ME!”
zsteelie Premium Member about 14 years ago
Best Alice line EVER! LOL!
DonVanni about 14 years ago
I’m a Non-Euclidean Vegan. I only eat foods with a net negative curvature. (Pringles)
vldazzle about 14 years ago
One year, I had made a single layer of fruitcake for one son’s wedding cake (right after reading the recipe from Princess Diana’s). I started in October, so there would be plenty of time to “cure” them with dousing of Brandy or Rum. Each was wrapped in foil individually and they were stored in sealed tins. They were doused every week until almost Christmas, reversing the “top” side every time. Right before wrapping and sending them off, I made fresh marzipan and decorated them with holly, berries and poinsettia flowers. LSS: did anyone appreciate this? NO! Just fruitcake jokes!
vldazzle about 14 years ago
I cook myself a turkey breast 6 or 7 times a year- almost always have sliced turkey ready for my lunches in the freezer. That, and my homemade healthy pizzas, and baked noodles. I like to prepare all my meals 8-12 in advance. That includes breakfast bars that are yummy and healthier than any commercial product- made with either apples and oatmeal or shredded wheat and oranges, but otherwise, most of the same mix of whole grains, walnuts, seeds, cinnamon, vanilla and raisons.
vawser about 14 years ago
Been waiting for Petey’s global picky eater ranking to resurface. Yay!
NSfan1238 over 13 years ago
to me, fruit cake has been a vanilla cake with fruit on top.I’m obviously missing something cuz I don’t celebrate christmas
Omniman about 3 years ago
Unfair! Fruitcakes make excellent doorstops, and no one should be penalized for being in a room with a doorstop!
JohnGallant over 2 years ago
In a million years, most of the fossils from our time will be fruitcakes.